The Election Debate Recapped Through The Celebrated Medium Of GIFs

The first leaders’ debate of the 2013 Federal Election aired last night, and it was just as teeth-grindingly frustrating as we thought it would be.

Issues covered included the economy, climate change, airports, asylum seekers, trust, taxes, aged care and marriage equality; in the words of Tony Abbott there was a “fair bit of argy-bargy”. But there were also important announcements, and a fun bell that stopped people talking!

If you want to watch the whole thing, the ABC has broken it down into bite-sized pieces here. But it’s really not necessary. Here are the most interesting bits.

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When Tony wasted his opening line by stating the obvious:

“This debate is between Mr Rudd and me.”

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When Tony broke Kevin’s ‘A New Way’ slogan in the first five minutes:

“Mr Rudd talks about a new way. Well, if you want a new way, you’ve got to choose a new government.”

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When Kevin was a big cheat and read from notes:

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When Tony bragged about inventing offshore processing:

“Let’s face it, we invented offshore processing. The Coalition invented processing at Nauru, the Coalition invented processing at Manus Island.”

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When either leader spoke about asylum seeker policy:

Kevin: “If you’re a people smuggler bringing someone to Australia and you’re seeking to settle them in Australia, we will not allow them to be settled here”

Tony: “I understand that today, we had two Somalis come across the Torres Strait.”

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When Kevin reminded us all he was from Queensland:

“I’m from Queensland. I’m not from Sydney.”

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When journalists interrupted to ask the follow-up question (looking at you Lyndal Curtis):

“But the government’s changes were wide ranging… What will you do on that policy?”

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When Kevin pretended to care about the Great Barrier Reef

“What really frightens the hell out of me, to be blunt, is in my own state of Queensland the impact on the Great Barrier Reef over time.”

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When Tony said if elected he’d meet our 2020 climate targets by planting lots of trees:

“More trees, better soils, smarter technologies.”

 

When Tony mentioned his sister instead of having a policy on marriage equality:

“It’s a very important issue. My sister, Chris, is in the audience; I know how important an issue it is. It’s not the only important issue.”

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When Kevin committed to introducing marriage equality legislation within 100 days in office:

“Within the first 100 days of a re-elected government, a bill would come forth to legalise marriage equality; we would, of course on our side of politics, allow a full conscience vote…”

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When Tony Abbott’s closing remarks were basically just this Kylie Minogue song:

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BONUS GIFS

The only way to cope with an entire hour of Kevin and Tony saying things:

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And who won?

THIS DEBATE CHANGED NO ONE’S MIND.

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Jess O’Callaghan is finishing up her media degree and producing the Meanjin podcast. She writes for Right Now, Something You Said and Farrago.

Feature image via Getty.