Ten Movie Franchises That Should’ve Quit While They Were Ahead
Inspired by today's release of the completely unnecessary, 'The Hangover Part III'.
Todd Phillips’ weirdly successful man-child series, The Hangover, reaches its end-point in cinemas today, with the national release of The Hangover Part III. Reviews have already come in from over yonder and, unsurprisingly, they’re not so nice. Time Out London describes it as a film that has “curiously little interest in being even remotely funny,” while The Telegraph calls it out for its “bad scripting, bad plotting, terrible joke formulation, and not a single character actually having a hangover until part-way through the end credits.”
It seems like a bitter end for a franchise that destroyed box office expectations upon its original release, made a breakout star out of Zach Galifianakis, and helped usher in a popular (but highly debatable) sub-genre of old dudes acting like idiotic frat children. We think it’s safe to say that it’s a sequel not even fans wanted made. In light of its release, we thought we’d have a look at other movie franchises that have taken things way too far…
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The franchise: Scary Movie
The film: Scary Movie 5
The reaction: “Sure, they occasionally send up a horror trope or two, but most of the ‘spoofing’ done in the franchise really involves re-creating scenes from other movies and then maybe adding a fart sound.” – Adam K Raymond; Vulture
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The franchise: The Karate Kid
The film: The Next Karate Kid
The reaction: “What’s the sound of one hand clapping? The audience giving it up for The Next Karate Kid. ” – Rita Kempley; Washington Post
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The franchise: Resident Evil
The film: Resident Evil: Retribution
The reaction: “The series’ most serious fans will have plenty to pore over and debate in this installment, but casual drop-ins and even first-timers will have no problem following the ‘Undead dudes go ‘rawr,’ splosives go ‘boom’’ narrative.” – Tasha Robinson; AV Club
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The franchise: Die Hard
The film: A Good Day To Die Hard
The reaction: “I think I fell asleep to keep from getting even more depressed. Every scene is a little death.” – David Edelstein; Vulture
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The franchise: Paranormal Activity
The film: Paranormal Activity 4
The reaction: “If the last few minutes of this film are any indication, Paranormal Activity 5 will finally fulfil the series’ evolution from an eerie collection of inventive bumps in the night to just another over-produced monster shoot-’em-up with fashionably ugly camera work that’s been ushered into the Halloween season to court your horror-movie dollars. Not scary, but sad.” – Chuck Bowan; Slant
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The franchise: Underworld
The film: Underworld 4: Awakening
The reaction: “Only Beckinsale seems invested in her choices or the outcome, and her single facial expression can’t carry an entire film.” – Tasha Robinson; AV Club
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The franchise: Final Destination
The film: Final Destination 5
The reaction: “Kudos for evisceration by acupuncture and Lasik eye surgery, but the cheap thrills wear off way fast, and we’re left with atrocious acting, feeble writing and clueless directing (from first-timer Steven Quale). The horror! The horror!” – Peter Travers; Rolling Stone
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The franchise: Taken
The film: Taken 2
The reaction: “The relatives of the jabbering, interchangeable ethnic baddies that our hero bumped off in the first film now want revenge. They follow Mills to Istanbul. They try to kill him. They fail. More violence occurs. The end.” – Tom Huddleston; Time Out New York
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The franchise: The Transporter
The film: The Transporter 3
The reaction: “Transporter 3 is made for airplane viewing, and not just any airplane: an Eastern European one, on the flight from Hrubbishnik to Slutnya.” – Kyle Smith; New York Post
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The franchise: Fast & Furious
The film: Fast & Furious 6 (in cinemas June 6)
The reaction: “By ensuring that tongue is incapable of locating cheek, the filmmakers exude a distinct ignorance, as they’re not only apparently unaware of how dumb the material is, but also have no sense of how to have full-tilt fun with said stupidity.” – Chris Cabin; Slant
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Hannah Wolff is a writer currently studying Art Theory and interning at Junkee. The twittersphere confounds her.