Music

Here’s Which Aussie State Fucks The Most, According To Spotify

Sorry Victoria, looks like you're cumming in last.

Data, it’s a wonderful thing. It can tell us almost every minute detail about our lives and the gigantic world we inhabit — but more importantly, it can tell us when we’re all fucking. Or, at least, it can give us some pointers…this isn’t an exact science after all.

Streaming giant Spotify has combed over the stats from their popular sexy time Bedroom Jams playlist (which boasts over 860,000 followers) to determine which Aussie state is doing the most fucking, and even what time all of us are getting down.

The Australian Capital Territory has cum out on top, with the most streams of Bedroom Jams in the country, with the Northern Territory sneaking in at #2. Western Australia is sitting pretty horny at #3, while New South Wales and Queensland round out the top five.

Which means that yes, South Australia, Victoria and Tasmania officially fuck the least in the country. Soz.

As for the times we’re all getting down, 9pm and 10pm have emerged as the magic fucking times. New South Wales, Victoria, and WA generally hit play and take their clothes off around the 10pm mark, while South Australia and Queensland slip in before that, at 9pm.

Spotify has also revealed the most-streamed tracks from Bedroom Jams, with Lolo Zouaï’s ‘Desert Rose’ landing at #1, followed by ‘Grind Slow’ by Full Crate, and JNYR’s ‘Twenty Ten’.

Honestly, this is a lot better than the State of Origin. Check out all the rankings below — and get down to the playlist while you’re at it.


Australian States And Territories Ranked According To ‘Bedroom Jams’ Streams

1. Australian Capital Territory
2. Northern Territory
3. Western Australia
4. New South Wales
5. Queensland
6. South Australia
7. Victoria
8. Tasmania

Peak Boning Times

10:00pm — New South Wales locals, Victorians and Western Australians
9:00pm — South Australians and Queenslanders

Most Streamed Songs On Bedroom Jams

1. Lolo Zouaï – Desert Rose
2. Full Crate – Grind Slow
3. JNYR – Twenty Ten
4. SATICA – Dysfunctional (feat. SAKIMA)
5. Chris Brown – Grass Ain’t Greener
6. Teyana Taylor – Hurry
7. ELHAE – Needs
8. WILLS – Upps
9. Wade Hampton – Boundaries
10. Jhene Aiko – Sativa

Disclaimer: Obviously, this kind of stuff is hardly an exact science — and Spotify is definitely not trying to find out when everyone is fucking. But hey, data is great.