Some Astronauts Leave Matt Damon On Mars Like A Bunch Of Idiots In The New ‘The Martian’ Trailer
Always make sure you have your Matt Damon with you when you leave the house.
Remembering you’ve left something at home when you’re out is the worst feeling. I know this because I have locked myself out of various houses often enough to have a locksmith’s number saved in my phone, which I have also been unable to use more than once because I left it in the same locked house my keys were in. If you’re worrying about your suitability for adulthood, you’ve come to the right place.
That said, I have never left Academy Award-winning actor and screenwriter Matt Damon on Mars by mistake, so I’m doing a sight better than the half-dozen NASA astronauts who do exactly that in The Martian‘s new trailer. I may have had to gain access to my house by crawling through a doggy door meant for a Maltese terrier several dozen times, but to date I have never inadvertently abandoned the star of Good Will Hunting, True Grit and Elysium on a small red planet some 225 million kilometres from Earth.
Not like these guys did! Jokers.
The next time you leave your wallet in a cab, just remember: you might be a klutz, but you’ve almost certainly never condemned the immensely bankable face of the Bourne Trilogy to a cold, lonely death on a frozen rock spinning wildly through the sub-zero void of space. Take that, Jessica Chastain!