Seven Weird Examples Of How Not To Promote An Album

Earlier this week, Universal Music announced that Nirvana’s third and final studio album In Utero would be receiving the same 20th anniversary reissue treatment as their breakthrough album Nevermind did back in 2011. In light of the special occasion, the band’s remaining members resurrected a vintage promo clip featuring comedian Bobcat Goldthwait manically comforting Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl as they shoot baby dolls from between their legs and then sit around discussing the merits of placenta soup.

In light of the insane clip’s release, we thought we’d trawl the ‘nets to find some other weird album trailers out there…

1. The Killers – Battle Born

Oh, it’s bad. It’s so bad. And not in the ironic bad, but strangely kinda good way. The promo video for The Killers’ fourth studio album, released in September 2012, does absolutely nothing except confirm that the band can in fact spell the album’s title, but, you know, only reallyyyyyy slowly, and when interspersed with comforting embraces around a fire. Spelling’s tough?

2. Chris Brown – Fortune

Chris Brown couldn’t have packed more geeky allusions into this promo clip if he tried. Picture this: the Karate Kid finds the tesseract, wanders into an underground sewer system in pursuit of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, is instead greeted by a bunch of Dementors turned shadow ninjas, runs away, somehow ends up on the set of The Fifth Element sans Bruce Willis, and then all of a sudden Chris Brown, dressed as Will Smith in Men In Black, steps out, saves the day, and ta-daaaa, Fortune.

3. Mumford & Sons – Babel

So, it’s the morning after a yet another party-turned-food fight, you’ve lost your hats, and your horse isn’t impressed… Now you’ll sing about it, right? Hmm, maybe not. We’re quickly learning that previewing an album with album-y things like music and singing is not actually essential to album promos at all. This video just kinda looks like an ad for the local circus.

4. Kanye West – Yeezus

Kanye’s new brother-in-law (or whatever they’re weird relationship is), Scott Disick, longtime partner of Kim Kardashian’s sister Kourtney, has long been publicly joshed as a Patrick Bateman doppelganger (you know, the nutcase character from Bret Easton Ellis’ American Psycho). I mean, we’ve seen the show; he seems like a nice enough guy, it mainly stems from his penchant for pin-striped business shirts and ridiculously slick hair.

Kanye must read the gossips, ’cause the promo clip for last month’s Yeezus — his sixth studio album, which was largely inspired by a lamp — took this sly public ridicule and made it explicit, with a shot-for-shot homage to that great scene in American Psycho where Christian Bale hacks up Jared Leto to the soulful sounds of Huey Lewis. Only this time, Disick does the deed to Kanye’s ‘New Slaves’. Good one, Kanye.

5. R.E.M. – Monster

This promo for Michael Stipe and gang’s 1994 album just reminds us of what happens when you leave a video game on pause for too long and the characters start to entertain themselves to the same 30-second loop of music. It’s also half made up of liner notes, which is so boring. (Click on the picture to watch it on YouTube.)

6. Nas – Illmatic

Okay, this six-minute promo is a bit more like it — no unnecessary skits, just straight up music. Oh wait, there’s also some super serious narration, a doco on Nas’s Queensbridge ghetto, and a bunch of talking heads saying things like “phat“ and “butter.” Less talking about condiments more talking about the album, please!

7. The Beastie Boys – Paul’s Boutique

Released in July 1989, Paul’s Boutique was initially considered a failure by the Beasties’ record label, Capitol, after it failed to match the sales of their first album, License to Ill. At the album’s launch party, the trio seem pretty keen to let their fans and critics alike know that critical success or not, they’ve “emerged” and paid their “dues”. Seriously, try to count the amount of times the lucid trio say “dues” and “emerged” after the 15-minute mark, as the interview quickly deteriorates into a half-hour, stream-of-consciousness rant… about dues and emerging.

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Hannah Wolff is a writer currently studying Art Theory and interning at Junkee. The twittersphere confounds her.