Seven Fictional Elections More Exciting Than #AusVotes2016

Look, I don’t need to tell you how bland and uninspiring this federal election campaign has been. You know it. While our political leaders slug it out in debates, Australia is busy watching Masterchef or sinking beers at the pub.

But it doesn’t have to be like this! There are plenty of examples of exciting, engaging, high stakes election campaigns from the vast canon of pop culture. So we thought we’d collate some of the best, to provide a bit of inspiration for our politicians.

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1. The Election From The Film “Election”

Turns out Matthew Broderick was in another movie after Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. In Election Broderick plays a school teacher overseeing the election of student council president. Reese Witherspoon is expected to romp it in, but Broderick pulls some strings and sets up a brutal contest between her and Chris Klein (Turns out Oz from American Pie was in another film too).

The film gets pretty dark pretty quickly and is a solid satire of the Machiavellian nature of modern politics. If you haven’t seen it, it’s definitely worth a watch. It makes internal Labor party machinations look like child’s play.

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2. Sideshow Bob Vs. Mayor Quimby 

Sideshow Bob’s mayoral tilt on The Simpsons had everything. Electoral fraud, a new motorway opposed by local residents (hmm… sound familiar?), tax breaks for the wealthy and dozens of references to the Watergate Scandal and classic US political thrillers like All The President’s Men and A Few Good Men (a whole lotta men in politics, hey).

The craziest thing about the episode? It’s nowhere near as wild as actual US politics.

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3. Leslie Knope Runs For City Councillor In Parks And Recreation

Leslie’s campaign raised all the big issues like raccoon relocation, lowering the obesity level and the desperate need for more dog parks and trash cans.

Her opponent, Bobby Newport (played by Paul Rudd!) is a cashed up playboy running for office just to impress his dad, the owner of a giant candy manufacturing company. His campaign is well funded and slick, even though he doesn’t really know why he’s running. So I guess that makes him the Malcolm Turnbull of Pawnee.

Maybe if Bill Shorten promised to relocate large species of pests and gave dogs more freedom we might be inspired to vote for him?

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4. Giant Douche Vs. Turd Sandwich From South Park

After PETA forces South Park Elementary to stop using a cow as the school mascot, a vote is held to pick the new one. The South Park gang can’t decide what joke candidate to support so rival campaigns emerge: one backing “Giant Douche”, the other backing “Turd Sandwich”.

After a nasty campaign, and the assassination of animal activists, the takeaway message is it doesn’t matter who you vote. Not necessarily a principle we endorse, but sometimes it does feel like elections are a choice between two really bad candidates.

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5. Bob Jelly vs. Meredith From SeaChange

Now for something a bit closer to home: who can forget SeaChange, one of the greatest Australian TV shows to hit our screens.

After ruling the town of Pearl Bay with an iron (and very dodgy) fist for the first two seasons, shire president  Bob Jelly is challenged in the election by everyone’s favourite publican and grandmother, Meredith. Meredith wants to take a stand against local government corruption and protect the town from pro-development interests. Bob, on the other hand, is basically the Salim Mehajer of the coast. He’s also played by an actor called John Howard, which is weird, and made the ’90s really confusing.

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6. Annie Vs. Jeff From Community

Vice-President Joe Biden is dropping by Greendale and because the Dean is completely insane he decides to organise an election for campus president.

The episode parodies voter apathy, with Annie struggling to gain any traction in the campaign despite putting forward clear cut, well thought out policies. Greendale voters initially throw their support behind Jeff and his cheap slogans, before ultimately. and inexplicably, voting South Park as the winner.

In the end Biden cancels his visit, proving once again that democracy is a giant waste of time.

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7. Kramer Runs For Condo Board President At Del Boca Vista In Seinfeld

After it turns out Jerry’s dad can’t run for the condo board (sort of like a strata committee), he enlists Kramer to run as a puppet candidate.

In this episode we get a glimpse of the power of the tabloid media. The Boca Breeze, after initially backing Kramer’s campaign, turns on him after footage emerges of him in a club while barefoot. The Boca Breeze is clearly a stand in for The Daily Telegraph. a paper that thinks it has the power to make or break candidates.

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So there you go Malcolm and Bill. Seven fictional election campaigns that were more exciting than yours. Feel free to take some inspiration from them.