J.K. Rowling Proposes Fictional Gay Wizard Wedding; Westboro Baptist Church Threaten To Picket It
That escalated quickly.
It’s been a bad week for the Westboro Baptist Church. Not only did same-sex marriage get passed in Ireland, but their attempts to condemn it via social media and slapped together banners backfired miserably: all of their signage featuring the ‘Irish’ flag ended up inverted, resulting in them accidentally throwing shade on the Ivory Coast instead. No time to fact check; hate can’t wait.
Now to add insult to their injury, JK Rowling has come out in support of Ireland’s progressiveness, tweeting that perhaps Dumbledore and Gandalf could get married there someday.
.@justaoifethings Then they could get married IN IRELAND! pic.twitter.com/yXedPavZfp
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 23, 2015
Huge if true. I didn’t even know they were dating.
The Westboro Baptist Church has leapt on this, seeing a chance to redeem themselves after their embarrassing geographical gaffe. Taking to Twitter, they enthusiastically knocked up a poster that looks like it’s advertising the world’s worst primary school bake sale, declaring their intent to picket the big day.
.@jk_rowling wants Dumbledore & Gandalf to marry in Ireland; if it happens WBC will picket! #NotBanned pic.twitter.com/bGzk3pJB8G @benjamincohen
— Westboro Baptist (@WBCSaysRepent) May 26, 2015
Let’s take a step back and unpack that.
Leaving aside the fact that this would be a fictional wedding between two fictional wizards — one of whom is dead — who, even in the pretend world in which they exist, have never met: have the potential picketers stopped to think about who would be on the guest list?
Considering that they failed miserably at locating Leonard Nimoy’s funeral, it is doubtful that they would be able to make their way through the inevitable shield spells and magical diversion tactics that would be set up. Then, even if they did, they would then have to take on both the Order of the Phoenix and the Fellowship of the Ring.
Misplaced self-righteousness and poorly articulated banners are no match against a 3000-year-old battle-trained elf backed by an army of wizards wielding the magical equivalent of tasers.
Haters gonna hate though, so if Westboro Baptist Church is determined to make the leap from protesting real-life events and get all up amongst fiction, I look forward to seeing what happens next. Maybe they could take on Hannibal next. I don’t know if specifically condemning cannibalism is to their usual taste, but it’s something they could make a good meal of.
In the meantime, perhaps they should stick to protesting against countries with symmetrical flags. Because that was hilarious.