The Republican National Convention Is Kind Of Just Dystopian Comic-Con
Donald Trump is cosplaying as a serious contender in the presidential race.
All conventions are pretty much alike. There’s a unifying theme that brings a certain group of people together, there’s a bit of glitz and glamour, and crowds converge to catch a glimpse of their favourite celebrity.
Right now, the 2016 Republican National Convention is taking place in Cleveland, Ohio (the fact that Cleveland is a secondary Hellmouth location in the Buffy canon is something I will mention without further comment). While yes, it is an important part of shaping the political future of the US etc etc, the reports of what is going down there are equal parts horrifying and hilarious. With San Diego Comic-Con due to start in the next week, here are all the ways the two events are opposite sides of the same coin.
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Grand Entrances
From Daniel Radcliffe mingling with unknowing fans while dressed as Spiderman to Robert Downey Jr. dancing his way past fans for a surprise Iron Man 3-related appearance in 2012, Comic-Con is a haven of dramatic reveals and entrances.
On that note, here is Donald Trump, clapping his own arrival as Queen’s ‘We Are The Champions’ plays in the background. “We’re going to win,” he ejaculates to the crowd. “We’re going to win so big”. An alarmingly packed room full of white people applaud his use of no words longer than two syllables.
This many people want Trump as president, and yet we couldn’t manage to keep Firefly on TV for more than one season?
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Cosplayers
Many people head to Comic-Con purely for the joy of dressing up as their favorite character from pop culture. The RNC is no different. Donald Trump has dressed himself as a serious contender in the presidential race, while 100 women have protested the convention by standing outside, holding up mirrors, and dressing themselves in clothes made of the same fabric as Trump’s moral fibre.
The protest is coordinated by artist Spencer Tunick, known for his large-scale nude photography.
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Heated Arguments Over Casting Decisions
Didn’t like Batfleck? Me neither, and a convention is a great place to air your grievances about people filling roles that they really don’t belong in. Apparently some people at the convention feel similarly about Trump’s presidential campaign, attempting (and failing) to do a last minute delegate vote in order to delay proceedings.
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Sneaky Pop Culture References Everywhere
Where better than a convention to let your nerd flag fly and finally give air time to those more oblique pop culture references? Perhaps you’ll sneak in a bit of a comment about Howdy Doody, or find people who know what you’re talking about when you mention how disappointing the flying submarine in the Buffy comics was. The Republican National Convention is no different. After being introduced as “future first lady”, Melania Trump launched into a loving speech endorsing her husband’s campaign, complete with paragraphs almost directly lifted from Michelle Obama’s 2008 Democratic National Convention speech and Rick Astley quotes, because nothing says “take my husband seriously” more than Rickrolling your entire audience.
But to reiterate (and to paraphrase @tvoti), the real speechwriter's scandal here is this ACTUAL RICKROLL?!?!?!?!?! pic.twitter.com/eSuFbbVs43
— mr. sonia (@soniasaraiya) July 19, 2016
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Rivalry Between Competing Franchises
Things can get pretty personal in a Marvel vs DC disagreement, particularly when Marvel keeps making better films (for now) while DC gave us Batfleck. Really. Batman v Superman is a blight on cinematic history. The benediction (yes, this happens) at the RNC today was similarly fuelled by passionate bashing of either side.
“We are the conservative party under God,” screams Pastor Mark Burns as he implores God to give Trump the presidency. “As Republicans, we got to be united because our enemy is not other Republicans, but is Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party,” he thunders maniacally, terrifyingly as we are shown close ups of smiling women who I choose to believe are stock footage because the alternative is too grim.
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An Inescapable Feeling That Bad Times Are Coming
At the 2014 Comic-Con, they released a teaser trailer for a film where two beloved superheroes go head to head. At the 2015 Comic-Con, they released a longer trailer, giving further fuel to the fear that yes, this was really going to happen. In 2016, Batman v Superman finally was released (I won’t stop talking about it, don’t ask me to).
On Thursday, Trump will leave the convention as the official Republican nominee for President of the United States, an idea that months ago seemed laughable. There is a chance that he may actually become president. So, if you need me, I’ll be over here, watching Batman v Superman because that is a more cheerful prospect.
But let’s leave things on a more cheery note, hey? Enjoy this guy:
Trump Bro reacts to Giuliani or intense game of #PokemonGO? #RNCinCLE pic.twitter.com/ld1K802BrS
— Connor Ryan (@connortryan) July 19, 2016