Culture

Malcolm Turnbull Pulls Out Of Next Week’s ‘Q&A’ Because WHEN WILL THIS END OH GOD

MAKE IT STOP.

It happened.

We knew it was going to happen. We prayed it wouldn’t happen. But it happened.

Despite insisting for the past week that he was definitely going on next week’s Q&A panel and no take-backsies, Communications Minister Malcolm Turnbull has confirmed at late notice that he is, indeed, declaring take-backsies. In accordance with Tony Abbott’s frontbench boycott of the program the nation will be deprived of a government voice on the show for another week, and condemned to the searing hell of talking about this crap until the sweet embrace of Death comes to release us from this nightmare.

For his part, Abbott has insisted in a letter to ABC chair James Spigelman that the boycott will remain in place until Q&A is transferred to the ABC’s news division, for some weird obscure reason kicking around in that shiny reptilian head of his.

Turnbull will be replaced on Monday’s panel by the ghost of public debate in Australia, which has some serious questions for all us fuckers on how we let things get to this point.