Culture

People Are Bloody Flabbergasted That AFL Player Jobe Watson Wore A Hat That Said ‘Feminist’

"We’re not sure what the midfielder’s motivation for wearing the cap was."

by Sinead Stubbins  23 September 2016

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Former Essendon player Jobe Watson announced today that he was returning to AFL after leaving the league following the club’s supplement scandal in 2012. Watson explained that he had been working as a barista in New York in the interim, pretty much ignoring football in the hiatus (someone make this into a sexy telemovie like, now) but that he was excited to be returning to the code.

However, the news of Watson’s return wasn’t the big story this morning. There was something else absolutely shocking about today’s press conference that people just could not wrap their minds around: why was Jobe Watson, this loose canon, wearing a hat that said ‘FEMINIST’ under the brim?

This fairly innocuous wardrobe choice caused ripples across the internet, with many struggling to fathom what the bloody hell Watson was thinking. Where did he get this hat? Why was he wearing it? What was Jobe Watson trying to say? 

Australia was bloody flabbergasted! News.com.au — who originally ran with the politely incredulous headline: ‘What was with Jobe Watson’s hat?’ — attempted to explain to their readers what obscure motivation this absolutely nutso, mad unit had to wear such a provocative hat, trying to piece together the reasons for this baffling turn of events.

“We’re not sure what the midfielder’s motivation for wearing the cap was. Maybe he’s excited about the new women’s league that will start next year, or perhaps it’s a tribute to all the women who have helped him in his life,” they said. “Or maybe everyone was wearing those snapbacks over in the Big Apple and he just wanted to fit in.”

Watson, they decided, must be either paying tribute to all the women he knows or is just trying to fit in with the other weirdos in a strange and foreign city — maybe he didn’t even know that it said ‘FEMINIST!’. Alternatively, they thought he was just trying to pick up birds on Twitter. Oh. “Plenty of female admirers took to Twitter to express how much they loved Watson after seeing him in the get-up,” the article concluded. Watson, you son of a gun!

Fox Sports also thought that Jobe Watson’s hat was unequivocally the most perplexing thing about his press conference and struggled to know what to make of it. “Whether Jobe was plugging the brand, making a statement or just liked the cap itself is yet to be determined,” they concluded in defeat.

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What are you trying to tell us, Jobe!?!?

No-one seemed able to comprehend that a) Jobe Watson would buy a hat that said ‘FEMINIST’ on it and b) that Jobe would then wear that hat. A football player wearing a hat that proclaims his support of women’s rights? You’ve got to be joking! There must be an explanation! Jobe Watson was suddenly cloaked in mystery. Jobe Watson was the most unpredictable question mark of a man in the whole of Australia.

Luckily, the Herald Sun eventually solved this bewildering turn of events, explaining that in New York, Jobe Watson had a housemate named Jackie who taught him about feminism. “She was educating me on gender equality and she bought that hat for me and I told her if I would wear it if I was ever going to do a media conference here,” Jobe Watson said.

Today is for Jackie. Today is for Jobe Watson. Today is for Australia.