This Guy Is Furious Because Transport NSW Cancelled The Opal Card Implanted In His Hand

We caught up with Meow-Ludo Disco Gamma Meow-Meow.

Remember that guy who got the chip from his Opal card implanted in his hand? Well, Transport NSW finally cancelled his card this week, and he’s pretty fucking steamed about it.

His name is Meow-Ludo Disco Gamma Meow-Meow, and he’s actually taking the government to court over this in a few weeks. But let’s backtrack one sec, in case you don’t actually remember the part where he put an Opal card inside of his body.

He Did What?

Basically, Meow-Meow is a biohacker, and he’s interested in pushing the limits of technology. So back in June 2017, he cut out the near-field communication chip in his Opal card and had it encased in bio-compatible plastic, then implanted in his hand by a piercing expert. He wants you to know you should definitely, absolutely not try this at home.

From the moment he implanted the chip, Meow-Meow was aware that tampering with the card is pretty clearly against Opal’s terms of use. Those terms of use really cover all bases, prohibiting users from attempting to “misuse, deface, alter, tamper with or deliberately damage or destroy the Opal Card”. In Meow-Meow’s case, he’s kind of done… all of the above.

That’s why, nearly eight months later, the government has finally blocked the chip.

How Did He Get Away With This For So Long?

Who knows, but Meow-Meow’s theory is that it took the government a while to work out which card was the one inside his hand. He told us Transport NSW actually cancelled the card registered in his name a while ago, but that this wasn’t actually the same one he implanted.

His theory on how they actually caught him comes down to everyone’s favourites: transit officers. Meow-Meow says interacting with transit cops when you’ve stored your transit ticket inside a plastic nugget inside your body is “a bit intense”, and no shit, of course it is. Here’s how he described a typical interaction for us:

Transit Cop: Tickets, please!

Meow-Meow: Yeah it’s like, in my hand.

Transit Cop: What… the fuck?

“Then they like, tripped out,” he said, “But then they’re like ‘Ok, but we need to scan your card’, and I said ‘no, because I’ve seen documents leaked from you saying you’re going to cancel it.” He said he then offered to scan it from his own phone, which is equipped with an Opal card reader for some reason, and eventually resorted to just saying “give me the fine”, which they did.

Eventually, though, they managed to scan his card and take a screenshot of the number. Meow-Meow’s not happy about it, but he’ll be fighting the $200 fine for travelling without a ticket in court next months and is contemplating further legal action.

“If you’re gonna be dicks about it it’s gonna come bite you in the ass,” was his warning to Transport NSW.

So… Does He Just Buy A New Opal Card Now?

As for how Meow-Meow’s getting around now that the card’s been cancelled: “Uber, which is incredibly expensive”. The government’s just made public transport too difficult for him — “how many times do they have to cancel my shit before I just give up?”, he said.

He’s not interested in buying a new Opal card at this stage. “I’m a bit opposed to it, to be honest,” he told us. “The government can just do whatever they want — they can cancel it without any reason?”

“A lot of these regulations are just complete fucking nonsense, it’s what they call scope creep– if you don’t resist regulations and surveillance the government will just keep adding onto it.” He has a point; how did we miss the government imposing limits on our ability to surgically implant our travel cards into our bodies? When did we cross that line?

Also, Here Are His Thoughts On Barnaby Joyce

While we had him on the line, we asked Meow-Meow what his thoughts were on the current Barnaby Joyce scandal. After all, Meow-Meow was actually a candidate in the same electorate– he ran against Joyce in the recent by-election.

“I think he’s really betrayed the people of New England, for a number of reasons,” is what Meow-Meow had to say. “He either needs to take leave or step down as leader of the Nationals”.

And look, two hours later, Barnaby announced he’ll be taking leave. Maybe Meow-Meow’s really onto something.