Myspace Is Back, But Is It Any Good?

I grew up with Myspace. I mean, I also grew up with Bebo and Neopets — but the one channel I most filled with mindless angst and shameless fanboying was Myspace. So every time the former social giant flails a limb as its death throes continue, I’m struck with a pang of regret: What could I have done to save them?

Last week, Myspace deployed their biggest update yet. Pitching itself as “a social network for the creative community”, the new Myspace is side scrolling, visually focused and arguably beautiful. Gone is any hint of Blingee, customisable HTML and the <blink> tag. Instead, it’s sleek and, while not minimalist, easy to use.

Myspace is different to every social channel out there, loaded with history and referential to its past success, but trying desperately to appeal to a newer, more demanding audience. So:  does it work?

It’s Built Pretty Well, And It Looks Really Good…

Brisbane-based Josephmark — the company behind twitter’s new buy, wearehunted — are the masterminds of the site’s new design. It’s pretty, and it works. What more could you ask? For the first time in multiple relaunches and rebrandings, Myspace has the ‘network’ thing down pat.

Alongside a huge focus on streaming media, there’s an inescapable emphasis on the visual. Building on the success of channels like Pinterest and Instagram, there is no wasted space.  And goddamnit, if there was enough content, I could just scroll forever. The problem is that the content — like the user — currently doesn’t exist.

For example, it seemed they’d completely ignored a basic search function until I mashed my fingers against the keyboard seeking a reprieve from the sparkling ghost town of Myspace, and the search page appeared. To activate search, you simply type on any page, and watch as the results roll in.

While not quite mind-blowing or Web 3.0, it’s a really comfortable Web 2.5 — and despite some rendering and lag issues, a step beyond almost all of the competition.

…But A Corpse In Makeup Is Still A Corpse

I’d love to be excited about Myspace.  But my friends — and your friends — aren’t on Myspace anymore. They’re post-Facebook, too; mostly full of fury that Facebook exists and that they can’t be on it constantly, and that their privacy isn’t private enough, and that other people have private profiles, and also all the ads.

I mean sure, there’s any number of featured users on the new Myspace (including Pharrel, RiFF RAFF and Iggy Azalea), but the content they’re sharing isn’t new or unique. The few people I have found actively sharing content aren’t treating Myspace as an exclusive channel, instead choosing to respin content from other channels with the luxury of a higher character count than Twitter (1024 trumps the ubiquitous 140 character limit of Twitter, but cowers in fear at Facebook’s 63206 mega-limit). It’s just not enough to encourage sign-up, and nowhere near enough to inspire continued usage.

While Myspace are aiming for the artist market, there’s no drawcard in a social network without any social value. You’re walking through the prettiest morgue in the world, alone and unattended.

And Seriously: None Of Your Friends Are On Myspace

With a massive launch on Friday, you’d think that by now at least some of the internet would have cottoned on to this wondrous behemoth reborn.

Nope.

Right now, on my MySpace, it’s just me and one other guy.

(It’s not Tom.)

But Surely You Can Make New Friends?

Of course you can! New friends are fantastic. How about you plug in your postcode, approximate interests, and find some locals to jam with?*

* image blurred to protect the identities of people who once used Myspace

While it doesn’t compare to Facebook’s Graph Search in unadulterated stalking potential, Myspace’s “recommended people” is location-based friend-finding at its finest. Except that all the people you find haven’t used Myspace in years, and probably don’t want you knowing where they used to live.

You could also find new friends through mutual ‘connections’ (Myspace’s new basic-acknowledgement, a la Facebok’s Like). For example, I’ve always wanted more friends who liked Keith Urban**

**image blurred to protect the identities of Keith Urban fans

A Lot Of My Finest Selfies Were On Myspace! Can I Get Them Back?

If you’re a Myspace user from way back, signing back in gives you the option to import your old photos, songs and other miscellaneous profile features. You might not want to do that — chances are you stopped using Myspace four or five years ago, and that’s not anywhere near the safe zone for casual nostalgia. Why not just wait another ten years, and use the wayback machine. That’s probably better.

Trust me.

I’m An Artist. What About Me?

Okay, sure. I understand why you, an aspiring musician/DJ/performer/visual creator would want to use Myspace over the tens of already-available, vibrant and focused communities. It’s actually pretty fantastic visually; an emphasis on hi-res, tiling imagery, and responsive, screen-filling profiles.

If you don’t have excellent digital chops and want an easy place to share all your pretty photos or lovely music, Myspace might actually be an option. Much like on SoundCloud, streamed music follows you as you browse — with the added bonus of video content following you as well.

Most importantly, you could be just like Tay-Tay, and who doesn’t want that?

I Like The Internet, But I Don’t Like Other People

Stop the presses, then! You’re in luck! If you want to avoid people but still want to listen to music, watch videos and look at pictures of famous people on the internet, Myspace is exactly the place for you. There’s a certain safety in the silence of the freshly re-re-relaunched social network that’s comforting.

Alternatively, just use Hell Is Other People. It’s more reliable.

So… Uh. Should We Use It?

With any other name, the new Myspace would be a softly-growing haven frequented by early adopters and visually-focused art-types. As it stands, it’s treading too fine a line between the old and the new, unable to shake its past to save its future.

Yet, Myspace does work. It works like a hammer when you need a drill. Or, perhaps more correctly, a bulldozer when you need a scalpel. For all its artistic focus, it doesn’t seem to quite have a point.

But at least it supports gifs.

–

Alex Watts is a Wee Waa born writer, musician and marketer living in Sydney, Australia. You can find him on twitter as @solwat and, for the time being, on Myspace too.