Meet Anthony Weiner, The One Politician Who Might Be More Ridiculous Than Tony Abbott

As easy as it would be, one doesn’t even need dick euphemisms to make a joke out of former US congressman Anthony Weiner. He does a good job of making people laugh at him all by himself thanks to his remarkably misplaced gumption, ego, and cluelessness. And then, of course, there’s his lack of understanding about modern technology. This is a bad mix of personal traits to have when you’re choosing to send explicit photos of yourself via the internet while running for public office.

Sure, we all like to joke about our own gaffe-prone politician: Tony Abbott. What with his weird habit of eating onions, the creepy way he sexualises his daughters, his obsession with “the housewives of Australia”, the knighting of Prince Philip, his equating of job losses to the Holocaust, and so on. But for all the ocean swims Abbott showed up to in bright red speedos, at least we never saw what was underneath them. Not even Abbott was as bone-headedly silly as Anthony Weiner.

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America’s Next Top Politician

Anthony Weiner was the unfortunately named House of Representatives member who served New York’s 9th congressional district in Brooklyn for more than a decade. His unique brand of combative interviewing, his impassioned speeches on the subjects of health and education, and his general fiery demeanour made him a minor celebrity on the national stage and made waves somewhat akin to Bernie Sanders. Voters were pleasantly shocked at finding a politician who appeared to have actual guts. Sure, a 2008 New York Times profile essentially equated him to a task-master on the same level as The Devil Wears Prada’s Miranda Priestly (only louder), but he was nonetheless seen as a future star of the Democratic Party.

That was until 2011 when he accidentally sent a photo of his erect (but initially covered) penis out into the world via Twitter and was forced to admit having sent other explicit photos and messages to young female constituents. He later resigned, but in 2013 decided to re-emerge in the New York mayoral race, unaware that the scandal was going to come back worse than before like a particularly nasty case of syphilis.

Naturally, like all good attention-seeking egomaniacs with delusions of grandeur and infallibility, he had a camera crew following his every move. And for that, we are thankful because now we have Weiner.

“I guess the punchline is true about me,” he says, reflecting on his exploits in the just-released documentary. “I did the things, but I did a lot of other things, too”.

Unfortunately for him those ‘things’ include escaping the woman he sexted by running through a McDonalds, violently confronting a Jewish constituent in front of news cameras, repeatedly embarrassing his wife who is unable to contain her seething anger, and failing dismally at yet another campaign. He just can’t help himself; and it’s all caught on camera for our benefit.

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Between A Cock And A Hard Place

A lot of what makes Weiner so blissfully entertaining is the amount of access that filmmakers Josh Kriegman (Weiner’s former chief of staff) and Elyse Steinberg were allowed. I would almost believe the entire thing was staged to give this fame-hungry (he’ll have to settle for infamy) man more attention. But, as if to counter any questions you may have, these first-time filmmakers start their movie with a clip of Weiner himself asking why he allowed this to happen at all. It has been my experience that any documentary that starts with the subject questioning their own judgement has got to be good.

The new scandal that erupts involves more women, more sexts (you can Google the uncensored photos if you truly want them) — more creepy middle-aged politician-themed erotica. The absurdity is truly astonishing.

The best scene in the film may just be when his campaign workers confront him about feeling cheated; the man they thought they believed in had failed them. Again. There hasn’t been a documentary about a political campaign this eye-popping since the 1996 Australian doco Rats in the Ranks, nor a politician this willing to thrust his indiscretions in our face since Client 9: The Rise and Fall of Eliot Spitzer in 2010.

That Weiner’s self-coined alias throughout the fiasco was the outrageously absurd ‘Carlos Danger’ only made the ensuing drama funnier (and depending on your alliances, the schadenfreude even greater).

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A Car Crash You Can’t Look Away From (Because Of All The Dicks)

Documentaries like this have that rare ability where knowing the outcome — to be “spoiled”, so to speak — actually works to its advantage. It is captivating watching this man go about his campaign knowing full well that, like Britney, he’s not that innocent. He’s somehow blissfully unaware that if it all came crashing down once, it can come crashing down again.

The hubris of this man; I can’t imagine the balls it must have taken to believe he was above reproach. The appeal of Weiner lays in that old analogy of not being able to look away from a car crash. Except in this case the car crash is happening with goofy licence plates, blasting ‘La Cucaracha’ over the sound system, and revealing a trunk full of sex toys.

When the shit does inevitably hit the fan, Weiner takes on an even more surreal quality. We get to see Weiner’s desperate attempts to make the electorate forgive him up close and personal. Of course, he fails hopelessly.

But if Anthony Weiner is the villain of his own story, then the hero is his wife, Huma Abedin. The long-time political staffer and aide of Hillary Clinton is the eye of her husband’s ridiculous storm. Her face is a fascinating study in the evolving status of her marriage and when all is said and done she comes off looking dignified. As Sabrina Siddiqui wrote in her profile in The Guardian, Abedin is the film’s “compelling protagonist” despite actively shunning the spotlight.

But for Anthony, Weiner is a disaster. It’s hard to imagine anybody having a shred of respect for him after this. The film is the last nail in the coffin. A wonderful nail that is endlessly entertaining.

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Weiner is on limited release around Australia and is currently screening at the Melbourne International Film Festival.