Music

Someone Keeps Hijacking An English Radio Station To Play A Cheery Ode To Masturbation

You've gotta hear this song.

In today’s least grim news, a radio pirate in Mansfield, England keeps hijacking the airwaves to play a cheerful masturbation anthem in place of local station Mansfield 103.2’s broadcast. The song’s refrain of “I’m a wanker! I’m a wanker!” is backed with gentle ukulele, and has sparked mass debate in the local area.

Over the past month, the song has interrupted broadcasts at least eight times, including during a live family-friendly broadcast of a local Party In The Market event. It’s catchy enough that local kids are reportedly starting to hum it, to their parents’ dismay.

Local resident Dougy Brown told Junkee he wasn’t too fussed though. “I think it’s ace,” he said, “puts Radio Mansfield playlist up to 4 now”.  

As for the rest of Mansfield, Dougy reckons they feel largely the same way. “All the folk I’ve chatted to about it have found it funny. One or two mothers were moaning but that’s about it. I’ve seen pints have been offered to whoever it is.”

The culprit’s unlikely to come forward to collect those pints, though — hijacking a radio station’s frequency is a crime in the UK, and the communications regulator, Ofcom, is taking things “extremely seriously”. So far, however, leads are thin on the ground, and have included such dubious possibilities as a moped rider in a union jack helmet acting weirdly outside the local radio station. He apparently zoomed off on his glorified scooter before he could be questioned.

The song itself is much easier to track down. The 1978 banger is titled ‘The Winker’s Song (Misprint)’, and was performed by Robert “Doc” Cox under the fitting pseudonym Ivor Biggun. Incredibly, the ditty actually charted in 1978, peaking at #22 in the UK Singles Charts (ayy) despite being banned from radio airplay due to its sexually explicit lyrics. You can listen to it below, but you’ve been warned: it’ll be stuck in your head for the rest of the day.