Politics

Famous Loser Lyle Shelton Is Officially Running For The Senate

Still no word on his position re: eating shit.

by Tom Clift  26 May 2018
Lyle Shelton

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The Australian Conservatives have announced former Australian Christian Lobby managing director Lyle Shelton as their lead Senate candidate for Queensland in the upcoming federal election, which given Shelton’s history of losing elections seems like a bold choice.

Shelton famously spearhead the ACL’s campaign against marriage equality during last year’s postal survey. Considering how badly his side got creamed, you’d think that the Australian Conservatives might want to find someone voters actually liked. But apparently not.

Shelton actually joined the Australian Conservatives back in February, with party leader Cory Bernadi tapping him for the role of federal communications director.

In a statement today, Shelton said that “by working together, conservatives across our state can put a handbrake on the extreme elite ideologies that have infected Canberra”.

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“Bill Shorten and Malcolm Turnbull are the epitome of what is wrong with our system,” he said. “Both are captive to political correctness and big government thinking which is holding our nation back.”

Bernardi, for his part, said that “the people of Queensland now have a clear, principled, conservative alternative”.

“Lyle brings a wealth of political and campaign experience having headed up the no campaign last year that saw millions of Australians stand up against political correctness,” he added, conveniently leaving out the part where they lost.

If elected, Lyle Shelton said he would oppose “political correctness, gender ideology and social Marxism”. Still no word on his position re: eating shit.