Lady Gaga Was Very Drunk On TV Last Night
Let's revisit her drunkest moments, shall we?
Lady Gaga made an appearance on Andy Cohen’s US talk show Watch What Happens Live last night. By her own standards, she was actually rather modestly clad in a white seashell-bra and rodent-skirt-thing get-up. Oh, and she might’ve been incredibly drunk, too.
As you’d probably imagine, a drunk Gaga is an adorably funny Gaga. During the course of the interview, she participated in a three-way shot, excitedly expressed her love of pussy and dick, and chatted enthusiastically about One Direction.
The official videos are geo-blocked, but we’ve managed to track down an appropriately shitty quality version on YouTube that makes Gaga’s shitfaced state sound even more spacey. Now let’s breakdown the highlights…
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On the most interesting place she’s “taken a ride on a disco-stick” (06.00):
“I’ll say the most fun place I’ve ever taken a ride on a disco-stick was in the woods… On the floor! In the grass!”
On the last time she used Molly (07.50):
“I think, maybe, it’s hard to remember! Like, my raver days… I definitely wouldn’t encourage it because it would be dangerous if you don’t know where you’re getting it from… If you get to know Molly too well, you might turn out like meeeeeeeee!”
On Miley’s VMAs performance (08.30):
“I just think everybody needs to lighten up and leave her alone, because it’s pop music. Everybody’s entitled to their own artistic expression, and if you have a problem with it, just change the channel… I don’t understand the incessant need to go on and on hating things all the time. If anything, I give her props.”
On “dipping in the lady pond” (09.15):
“Well, I’ve taken a few ‘dips in the lady pond’. Yeah. Well, I like girls! I know people think I just say things to be shocking, but I actually do like pussy. It just depends on whose pussy it is.”
On going to strip clubs with Voldemort (09.40):
“Well, I was in Russia, and I went to this strip club. (talking off-screen to random audience member) I don’t know if you’ve been there. Have you been to it? I’m sorry, there’s a movie star in here so I thought he might know. He taught me everything I know (points to random audience member, who is RALPH FIENNES!). When we were at Hogwarts, he taught me everything.”
On strippers (10.00):
“I’ve seen a lot of strippers, ’cause I used to be one. Like, really. In New York, on the Lower East Side. Because I made more money stripping than waitressing. Just bikini and, like, boobies sometimes but with pasties.”
On her potential Real Housewives intro line (22.44):
“They may say I’m a woman, but underneath, I’m allllllllllll man.”
Gaga’s new album ARTPOP is due to be released on November 11. Hopefully she gets drunk on TV a few more times before then.
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Andy is Junkee’s new intern. She is mostly harmless, moderately cheerful and recently discovered she can justify her “drinking” and “drug” problem by telling people she’s a writer. She takes her cafe noir, no sugar thanks.