Jenny Slate and Chris Evans May Be Dating Again, And The Internet Is Thirsty For It
The world's greatest love affair is back on, maybe.
Disclaimer: this could all be wild rumour and baseless speculation. But let’s hope not, because if there’s one thing the world desperately needs, it’s for Jenny Slate and Chris Evans to reconcile and start mashing their beautiful faces together again.
After dating for nine months, the celebrity power-couple broke up in February, just another sign that 2017 was going to be a bad year. Mona-Lisa Saperstein and Captain America just seemed to make sense as an item. She’s a turtleneck-wearing comedy icon, and he’s exactly the pure ray of muscled sunshine that she deserves.
And yet it seemed that we were to be denied the joy of their love, after Slate spilled the beans on what it was like to date Hollywood’s most handsome son in a fantastic article for Vulture, talking frankly and with affection for a love that had sputtered out like 5000 candles in the wind.
OR HAD IT?
The beady red eyes of internet detectives perked up after spying a flirty Twitter conversation between the two actors, all based on the ~extremely~ sexy theme song from M*A*S*H.
The theme song to Mash stresses me out. The Pavlovian response is that it’s time to go to bed and I probably haven’t done my homework.
— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) October 21, 2017
“Probably haven’t”???? Cmon, Christopher. Have you done your homework or haven’t you? It’s 7pm and you’ve had the whoooole weekend. Cmon.
— jenny slate (@jennyslate) October 21, 2017
How’s your handwriting? Can you write me a note? Let’s cut class!
— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) October 22, 2017
This is terrifying and exhilarating. Meet me behind the gym after science. I have shark bites.
— jenny slate (@jennyslate) October 22, 2017
A cute exchange to be sure. But surely it’s not enough to base an entire case on?
This is where the infamous “Dodger Footage” comes into the mix, and blows this whole conspiracy wide open.
The video in question was posted to Chris Evans’ Twitter stream earlier this week, and shows his beautiful dog Dodger howling along to the song that his stuffed lion plays. It is perfect content.
This is Dodger’s stuffed lion. He loves it. He brings it everywhere. If you press it’s paw, it sings. Today, Dodger decided to join in. pic.twitter.com/CuH53VNVtF
— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) November 7, 2017
But, like a seductive raven in the background, is the sound of a woman’s laughter which sounds suspiciously similar to Jenny Slate’s branded cackle.
— Lucie Lindloff (@LucieJL) November 7, 2017
The Dodger Footage provides something definitive — an almost proof that Chris Evans and someone who is most likely Slate are hanging out and having the most delightful time known to mankind.
And then, seemingly confirming these fervent rumours, Slate posted the Twèet de résistance.
My boyfriend does many dreamy&generous things but number 1 in my mind right now is how he celebrates my new turtlenecks/let’s me show him my online shopping spoils&cheers me on
— jenny slate (@jennyslate) November 10, 2017
Not only does it confirm that Slate is in fact dating, but that she is dating someone generous and supportive, which would most likely be two of the best words to describe Evans, right after ‘pillar of abs’.
Naturally, the internet — nay, the world — are deeply invested in seeing this love not only succeed, but flourish.
like all of you, I am trying to understand why it's so important to me that Jenny Slate and Chris Evans may be back together
— american fandal (@evilmallelis) November 10, 2017
Jenny Slate and Chris Evans together is really making me cry I'm going to throw up I'm so excited
— mamas (@babyloveliv) November 11, 2017
Every time I get comfortable with believing love is fake and impossible, Jenny Slate and Chris Evans ruin my cynicism by dropping hints about being back together
— jor-nucopia (@jrdync) November 11, 2017
Feature images via Wikimedia