Jeff Goldblum Is The World’s Ultimate Weirdo Dad; Should Adopt Us All Immediately
Today, we are all this confused baby named Ocean sucking on his face.
For decades, Jeff Goldblum has eluded simple classification. He’s both an actor and a musician; an action star and a comedian; a nerd and a sex symbol. Jeff Goldblum is both a regular human being and an extra-terrestrial assemblage of smirks and jazzy hand gestures. Now, it’s all seamlessly fallen into place: Jeff Goldblum is just a dad.
After the birth of his first child which happily coincided with Independence Day this year, the 60-year-old actor has been settling into his new life as a parent and appeared on Conan overnight to talk about it. But, as Conan points out, “you don’t have notes for a Jeff Goldblum interview — you just say hello and then madness ensues”.
Accordingly, Goldblum talks about naming his child Ocean, goes on an unsolicited rhythmic rant about slicing cranberries, then shows a video of himself singing while his bewildered infant sucks on his nose. “I nuzzle him, I smell him, I kiss him, I talk to him, I make jokes with him, I sing to him,” Goldblum says.
Today, we are all this confused little ocean child:
Tomorrow, we are all an embarrassed ocean adult, whose dad sang ‘Take Be Out To The Ball Game’ at his circumcision then told the whole world about it: