I Went To A Sex-Ed Class For Adults In Melbourne, And You Should Too

It’s a sultry summer-like November evening, and a group of nervous adults are tentatively walking up the stairs of Collingwood’s Gasometer Hotel. The room is downright classy with plush carpet, a mosaic fireplace, a gilded mirror and a complete absence of pork scratchings. The setting feels less boozy pub and more finishing school, as we’re warmly greeted by Vanessa Muradian for her class: Pleasure 101.

You may often talk and learn about sex at the pub, but official classes run by a trained sexologist are a little less common.

Vanessa owns sensuality and wellness business Mia Muse, and describes her Pleasure 101 classes as being “for anyone who loves the yoni, or has one”. For those of us less-versed in Sanskrit, yoni = “pussy”, vagina, or front bottom. Vanessa begins by acknowledging that language has its constraints, and that the class description isn’t intended to cement a definition of womanhood. But one thing is crystal clear: we’ll be learning a lot about vaginas.

First up, an anatomy lesson where we find out that they’re not what we think they are. What we generally refer to as the vagina is actually called the vulva, a place where the external organs with Latin names that sound like Harry Potter spells hang out (Mons pubis! Labia majora! Labia minora!). The vagina is the muscular canal that connects the uterus to the outside of the body. While Tantra classifies yonis into a set number of “types”, Jamie McCartney’s The Great Wall of Vagina and MONA’s vulva sculptures — also available in soap form from the gift shop! — have shown that vulvas come in all shapes and sizes.

Compared to the vulva, the clitoris has a much better PR agent — but there’s still lots to learn about that part, too.

Vanessa explains that it was only 17 years ago that the full anatomy of the clitoris was discovered. Doctor Helen O’Connell, a Melbourne urologist, led a MRI study looking into internal clitoral structures in 1998, which uncovered that the clitoris — much like the iceberg that ripped apart the Titanic in the hit film of the same name that year — was a whole lot bigger than expected.

The internal clitoris can extend up to ten centimetres in length. It also grows with age — after menopause, it’s seven times bigger than it was at birth. “And older women are saying they’re now having the best sex of their lives, so you make the connection,” Vanessa smiles.

She also gives a shout out to CLITERACY, a mixed media project that went viral in 2012. The brainchild of American conceptual artist Sophia Wallace, CLITERACY was created to remove taboos around women’s genitals; it had the added bonus of giving the public an excuse to ride a golden Clit Rodeo.

As Vanessa explains, an awareness of your female anatomy (beyond what you learned in a Judy Blume book) is key to feeling connected to your body. She describes potential barriers to orgasm, such as physical ailments like lower back pain and pelvic nerve damage — something Naomi Wolf grappled with and discussed in her 2012 book, Vagina: A New Biography.

Other things that will have you empathising with Samantha Jones’ lost orgasm include being too “goal orientated” in your quest to reach it; not making time for your sexual priorities; feeling disengaged from yourself or your partner; and/or being too self-conscious.

“Once you feel more connected to your body, you can start to allow more sound and movement in,” Vanessa enthuses. “A lot of us hold back during sex, but not holding back will help you to feel sexually alive.”

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Stay up to date with Vanessa Muradian’s future events by visiting the Mia Muse website.

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Samantha Allemann is a Melbourne based writer, educational content developer and sometime radio announcer. She tweets from @sam_allemann

Feature image supplied.