How To Cope When A Uni Mate Scores An Opportunity You Really Want
You're allowed to be upset. Just don't get bitter.
Oh man, it really sucks when you don’t get the job, internship or scholarship you were looking forward to nailing. And when you know the person who got it instead of you? Even worse.
It’s 500 per cent normal to feel angry, sad and bloody disappointed. But you don’t have to stay bitter about it for long. Here are five ways to make it easier for yourself.
Chill Out For A Sec
You’re definitely allowed to be upset about this. Seeing something you worked for go to someone else is pretty difficult, and the jealousy is tough to hide. Taking time to process your negative feelings is important, so don’t feel like you have to pretend everything is fine straight away.
Embrace comfy clothes, Netflix and UberEats until you’re ready to dazzle the world again. You might be starting to doubt yourself and feeling insecure, but it’s important to remember that this isn’t the only opportunity you’ll ever get. Something just as great will be available to you really soon.
Reach Out To Your Support Group
When you’re right in the middle of trying to be successful and independent it might be hard to recognise when you actually need help. It’s even harder to ask for it.
But your friends and family are in your life because they love you and want the best for you, so there’s absolutely no shame in texting, “Hey mate can I vent to you about something?” or watching some Disney movies with your little sis until you feel a bit better. Let them help you remember all your great qualities and talents, and to feel like not everything in the whole world is terrible always.
Be The Bigger Person
It’s so tempting to go down a social media rabbit hole and mentally criticise everything this person’s done since 2009. And yes, you might get a cheap thrill from it, but it won’t actually change anything or make you feel better in the long run. So probably don’t do it, hey?
If you have mutual friends, try not to say anything too critical about the other person around them, if only to make your own life easier. You don’t have to like them but you do have to respect that they worked just as hard as you did.
Turn It Into Art
All the best artists craft their work from a place of pain and sadness. Without being super cringe, you can use your rubbish feelings to create something rad. Write a gritty short story, a bleak poem or an angry song and just let it all out.
If that’s not your thing, give drawing or painting a go. Who cares if it’s not great, no one else has to see it. You’ll be surprised how cathartic it can be to sit down and put your negativity into something outside of your own brain.
Use It As Motivation
The reality is that maybe another person was chosen because they have more experience, or a different skill set to you. Use this as a chance to check in and think about what you’re bringing to the table, and what you can improve on. Maybe there’s a quick course or a subject in your degree you can take to learn a specific skill for the future, or perhaps you can spend some time volunteering.
Find a way to channel the frustration you’re feeling into a drive to hustle harder and look for something even better. In the inimitable words of Shia Lebouf, JUST DO IT.
(Lead image: The Hills/MTV)