I had a hard time in high school. Adults with good intentions felt compelled to tell me that once I started university, I’d suddenly “find my people” and shimmy off into the sunset beneath the warm glow of new friendships and a healthy outlook on life.

I was quiet, cynical, and anxious as a trembling chihuahua. Think Daria, but with panic attacks and unpredictable outbursts. Looking back, I shouldn’t have been surprised that friendships weren’t falling into my lap when I skipped lessons and actively avoided my classmates.

It took an unfinished degree, three mental illness diagnoses and four years of working full-time to get me back to university. I sit in the front row, interact with my tutors and peers, and volunteer myself for extra-curricular opportunities.

It’s not that I’ve somehow metamorphosed from a gutter-dwelling slug to a majestic social butterfly, but I’ve acquired some knowledge in making things easier for myself. Here’s how.

#1 Demystify The Big Wide World of Uni

Starting at university feels new and scary, but my mistake was never giving it a chance to become anything else. Everyone I saw was automatically a cooler, better, and more put-together version of me. I convinced myself of my otherness, and didn’t socialise enough to let anyone prove me wrong.

In reality, your peers and tutors are mere mortals. They come from all walks of life and have skeletons inside their flesh. They’re here to learn, they want positive social experiences, and they all deserve a chance.

#2 Take Advantage Of Opportunities

Don’t refuse to go to any orientation activities and then complain when you haven’t made any friends by Week One. Don’t avoid going to that referencing workshop and then wonder why your first assignment gets significantly marked down.

All of that annoying information you get bombarded with at university exists for your own benefit. If you’re not reaching out for opportunities, the only Scooby Doo villain you will ultimately unmask is yourself. It only gets worse the longer you endure your degree without fully engaging with it – and sadly, without enjoying it either.

Navigate yourself towards things that may be outside of your comfort zone but still within your interests – go to the queer lounge, sign up for anime club, or send your opinion piece to the school magazine. You don’t have to like everything, but you’ll at least like something.

#3 Keep An Open Mind And Few Expectations

This isn’t an American teen movie. University is simply an educational institution. All of the valuable social and academic opportunities that come out of it depend on how much you put in. Don’t expect frats and endless parties and that same close-knit gang every day. It’ll be a jumbled mish-mash of these stereotypical uni experiences, super mundane stuff, and a rotation of new people. Except the frats. Probably be thankful those aren’t a thing here.

Oh, and you’ll actually have to put some work in. It’s still a school in that sense. Try not to feel disheartened because it’s not glamorous. You’re not Fergie, as far as I know.

#4 Get Some Bang For Your HECS Bucks

Sooner or later, you’re paying for this course. Don’t let that scare you, but do let it motivate you to actually benefit from your education. That lecture you always skip is essentially coming out of your pocket. That professor with excellent industry experience is at your disposal, so ask questions and scoop out their knowledge like it’s ice cream. Fuckin’ eat it.

It’s cool to care (and it’s OK to cry). Barely scraping by is missing the point of what you’re achieving. Squeeze every penny you put into this degree, or that debt will eventually feel like it’s squeezing your proverbial testes. And you should seriously avoid succumbing to the mercy of a proverbial teste.

(Lead image: Mean Girls/Paramount Pictures)