Here’s A List Of All The Things Liam Gallagher Currently Hates
Liam Gallagher doesn’t really like much.
Over the years, the Oasis vocalist has voiced his distaste about selfies, his brother Noel, Americans, Mick Jagger, Pete Doherty, chairs, U2, Glastonbury, Chris Martin, film premieres, Radiohead, Robbie Williams, alarm clocks, dancing, his brother again, Franz Ferdinand’s Alex Kapranos, Keith Richards, George Harrison, Jack White, Ozzy Osborne, Billie Joe Armstrong, the Scissor Sisters, Florence Welch, Bono, Russell Brand, his brother again, Dave Grohl, skinny shoes, Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson, indie music, Mumford And Sons, Bob Dylan, and then his brother some more.
He definitely hasn’t mellowed with middle-age, and in a new interview with Noisey, Gallagher went about his daily business and trashed everything from modern dance music to solo artists to cars to his brother (…again.)
To help you keep track of everything the most colourfully-tongued Gallagher dislikes, we made you this handy list.
And it probably goes without saying, but there’s a language warning on this one. (He said “fuck” 144 times during the interview. A new personal best?)
Dance Music (And “So-Called” Rock Bands)
Barely three sentences in to the interview, Liam kicked off about one of his favourite subjects: the state of music in the UK.
“I’m not arsed about fuckin’ dance music and reggae. Well, reggae’s alright. But there’s too many so-called rock’n’roll bands in England getting away with fuckin’ murder. They should be ashamed of the shit the put out. They need fuckin’ shooting.
“I’m not gonna say names. They’ve got the tools to make guitar music great and they’re just fuckin’ doing it half-arsed. They’ve got one foot in the fuckin’ dance world and one foot in the fuckin’ guitar world and they’re just seeing which one fuckin’ bites. They’re there with their fuckin’ keyboards and whistles and shit.
“If you’re going to do “guitar music” you have to put a fuckin’ guitar on a record. Put the fucker in. Stop wearing it like it’s a fuckin’ necklace.”
“Oh god. Is that a concept album? I’m not interested in that. You can just imagine, can’t you? Someone’s been sat there in a big fuckin’ office and gone, “That’s how we’re gonna do it.” Nah. But a whole fuckin’ album of it? Fuck me.
“That should be left to your fuckin’ psychiatric fuckin’ chair, innit? Sum it all up in one song. The whole fuckin’ record? I’m not having that.”
In a band? Cool. Striking out on your own? Get the fuck out.
“The majority of solo stars are cunts. The ones that split bands up because they need their egos fuckin’ stroked are the biggest cunts. If someone said to me, “OK, get Oasis back or go solo?” I’d get Oasis back. There’s not enough bands out there. There’s far too many fuckin’ solo stars. It’s shit.”
He actually doesn’t hate ex-One Direction star Harry Styles, though: “I’ve seen him on that Carpool [Karaoke] and the guy can fuckin’ sing.”
Modern Automobile Manufacturing Standards
Oh, you thought Liam’s hatred was strictly limited to music? Think again.
“Everything’s fuckin’ shit. Even the cars. Look out there now [he points out the window]. See these cars? They look like they took fuckin’ 20 minutes to make, like they came straight out of a Kinder Egg. Even the buildings. Everything!
“Even the seats on fuckin’ trains, man. They’re like ironing boards. This is supposed to be fuckin’ first class. Fuckin’ like sitting on a fuckin’ ironing board for two hours.”
It’s probably not a good idea to invite Liam around for a quiet game of Cards Against Humanity.
“Fuckin’ organised fun is not for me. I can have the best days of my fuckin’ life in a lift, or with a barman, or with any geezer outside, or in a fuckin’ petrol station. If it’s organised fun I just shit up shop. I know I’m a funny cunt but I’d just come across like a rude cunt. In America they want fuckin’ bells and whistles don’t they? And I can’t do that. There’s enough fuckin’ clowns in the world. We don’t need another one.”
Of course, it wouldn’t be a Liam Gallagher interview with a large section devoted to hating on his brother, Noel.
“Oh fuckin’ hell. He’s like a fuckin’ stalker him, man. ‘Quick! Grab me a famous person!’ Fuckin’ cringe, man. Bradley fuckin’ Cooper and shit like that? Fuckin’ sit down, mate. Working class traitor. Go on.
“He’s got his issues and I’ve got my issues. He don’t like me, I don’t like him. Blah blah fuckin’ blah. He stitched me up with Oasis. I was the one left to carry the fuckin’ blame, and that’s it. He went, “Fuck this, I want a solo career.” He fuckin’ set a few booby traps and I got fuckin’ collared with it. So as far as I’m concerned, you can fuck off.
“He didn’t just end it because we were in Paris and we had a ding-dong. You stitched me up and you can fuck off, you cunt. I’m your fuckin’ brother. People go, “Oh you’re jealous.” I’m not. I’m living in the fuckin’ real world. I’ve got my kids, I’ve got my rock’n’roll, I’ve got my vibe. You’ve got Bradley Cooper, you cunt.
“[Our mother says] ‘Fuck the pair of ya.’ Just cause we’re brothers, people say: blood’s thicker than water. But it takes more than fuckin’ blood to be my brother. You have to be sound, d’you know what I mean?”
Read Liam’s full interview with Noisey here.