Politics

The Greens Candidate In Peter Dutton’s Electorate Has Released The World’s Daggiest Rap Video

"It's time to reclaim our democracy from Duttonation"

by Sam Langford  22 August 2018
dutton dickson greens benedict coyne

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Leadership spills can make us all do strange things, but this new video from the Greens candidate in Peter Dutton’s electorate really takes the cake. In what seems to be an attempt to capitalise on all this Dutton hate going around, The Greens’ Benedict Coyne has released a video where he, uh, raps very whitely about why it’s time to “turn your back on these Turnbullies and their LNP lies”.

And yes, the terrible puns only get more intense from there. Marching through a forest, Coyne raps that “it’s time to reclaim our democracy from Duttonation — quick”, while Dutton’s burning face appears, ghost-like, behind him.

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“See, that sinister Minister Pete, he’s taking us all for fossil fools!” he continues. “See, the major parties, they’ll Shorten your expectations, make you settle for less. Completely out of touch with your cost of living…pressure test”. A few lines later, Coyne seems to just give up on trying to make things rhyme at all, and instead just lists his policy priorities in a dramatic voice while the same overly dramatic beat kicks on in the background.

And sure, the policy platform is good — in all seriousness, Benedict “Benna” Coyne sounds like a great alternative to Peter Dutton, though that’s admittedly a very low bar. He’s opposed to the torture of children, wants to welcome refugees, and says he wants to bring back a genuine “fair go” for people in the electorate of Dickson.

All of this sounds great, or at least it would if it wasn’t being awkwardly rhymed by a guy standing in a forest with Peter Dutton’s exploding head periodically superimposed over the top of him like a great, menacing spectre. Honestly, this video looks like it was pulled together in about 20 minutes in Windows Movie Maker circa 2007, and it’s really something. If you need a break from all the Serious Political Drama of today, you can watch it for yourself here: