Gelato Messina’s Now Doing Home Delivery, So Say Goodbye To Your Arteries I Guess

Australia is well and truly on the home food delivery bandwagon. Apps like Menulog have made it shamefully easy to blow upwards of 25 bucks on a delicious fatty creation brought to your door, rather than cooking something that wouldn’t taste good and would be pretty expensive anyway.

The one thing keeping the nation’s heart pressure down was the need to physically stand up and walk outside in order to get post-dinner ice cream, and now that final obstacle’s been removed we can all expect swift and painless deaths.

Gelato Messina are teaming up with Suppertime, a Menulog-style home delivery service for restaurant food, to deliver buckets of delicious, diabetes-inducing goodness straight to the filth palace you have constructed in your room. It’s not yet available from every Gelato Messina location, and Suppertime only do delivery in Sydney and Melbourne so far, but it’s not like there’s a lack of demand for easy-access ice cream out there.

They also do cakes, which look disgustingly good.

As a fun aside, Suppertime either don’t pay enough attention to their social media presence, or they’re a front for some vaguely militaristic Russian news service. So that’s good.

To explain: there is no official Suppertime Twitter account, at least none that I could find. BUT, there is a ‘Suppertime’ account that links to their website and promises “FAST food delivery to your home or office in Sydney CBD and Eastern Suburbs”.

All pretty unremarkable, except that this (presumably bootleg) ‘Suppertime’ account consists entirely of Tweets in Cyrillic text that appear to cover Russian news and current affairs. Okay!

Парижский Диснейленд эвакуировали по тревоге

— SUPPERTIME (@SUPPERTIME_) January 10, 2015

Власти ДНР сообщили об артобстрелах Донецка украинскими военными

— SUPPERTIME (@SUPPERTIME_) January 10, 2015

Оператор “Бёрдмена” раскрыл секрет “непрерывного” кадра в фильме

— SUPPERTIME (@SUPPERTIME_) December 31, 2014

Plugged into Google Translate, the missives contain some strange, nonsensical and distinctly sinister messages. If your home-ordered Gelato Messina comes delivered by a brooding Russian man in a suit who wants to have a chat, this could be why.

There’s probably an entirely rational explanation for this; maybe their account was hacked, and rather than chase it up the Suppertime people just shrugged and walked away. Maybe it’s a weird prank. Or MAYBE this home ice cream thing is the latest move in a devious attempt by the Russian government to sneak into Australian homes, using conveniently-placed tubs of gelato as bait. It all adds up.