“Fuck That”: Stephen Colbert Just Went All In Against The Senate On Gun Control
"You may as well ask the gun lobby to check for a hernia as long as they've got your balls in their hands."
Despite a 15-hour filibuster from Democrat senators on Monday in the wake of the deadliest mass shooting in US history, the Senate chose to strike down even the most basic measures against gun control this week. Ignoring the support of a majority of Americans, they denied small changes to expand background checks and to stop those on terrorist watch lists from buying guns.
The senator who led the charge, Chris Murphy, said he was “mortified” by the result but not surprised by it. “The NRA has a vice-like grip on this place,” he said. The White House agrees. The morning after the vote, government spokesperson Josh Earnest appeared on national morning TV denouncing the senate for “a shameful display of cowardice”. President Obama went so far as to say they had “failed the American people”.
Gun violence requires more than moments of silence. It requires action. In failing that test, the Senate failed the American people.
— President Obama (@POTUS) June 21, 2016
Now, following in the footsteps of Full Frontal‘s Samantha Bee, Stephen Colbert has come out swinging. “After the attacks in Orlando, I thought maybe the government might do their job and pass any kind of law, even a fig leaf to justify their existence,” he said on last night’s episode of The Late Show. “Well, for thinking that, I owe myself an apology.”
“I don’t understand you, senators. 92 percent of Americans want to expand background checks for gun buyers and you just ignore them. Since when does 8 percent of the population get to have total control of an issue? I’m sorry. It must be hard to be in the senate and find common ground on such a politically fraught issue but… you know what, fuck that. I’m going to take the gloves off.”
Here are a few of his best hits:
“Hey Senate! My dog accomplished more than you this week, when it rolled over and licked its nuts.”
“Hey! You guys think a terrorists watch list is when you put Homeland on your Netflix queue.”
“You may as well ask the gun lobby to check for a hernia as long as they’ve got your balls in their hands.”
“Senate! You accomplished so little that Kylie Jenner wants to know what the hell you do for a living!”
“You are so divided, you couldn’t come together if you had 30 hours and a reach-around from Sting.”
“You’re like a grandpa after an all starch dinner. You cannot get shit done.”
In better news, the Democrats are currently staging a sit-in to protest this lack of action on gun control. You can check in on the live footage here.