Foreign Scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson Is Sledging Our Beloved Southern Cross On Twitter
That's a bootable offence, that is!
Celebrity scientist, Pluto-planet-denier and seemingly delightful man Neil deGrasse Tyson is touring the country at the moment, giving a series of talks about the universe, the importance of scientific literacy and how we’re all essentially dust motes clinging to a tiny sphere careening through THE ENDLESS VOID OF SPAAAAAAAACE —
Tyson’s taken to Twitter to help spruik the tour and talk to local fans, tweeting out some interesting Science Facts about Southern Hemisphere constellations and expressing an entirely understandable fear of our electrical wall outlets.
The only “down” on Earth is towards its center. So Aussies are Down Under only to Northern chauvinists ( ¡ ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀ ʎɐp,פ )
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) July 31, 2015
Maybe I just have an active imagination, but I’m still a bit spooked by the wall outlets in Australia: pic.twitter.com/6g9xUnmETm — Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) August 2, 2015
I can only assume he’s able to do that upside-down text thing through his patented Science Magic, but that’s a conversation for another day.
Tyson also sent out several tweets about the Southern Cross, and in an egregious insult to this Great Southern Brown Sunburnt Brown Windswept Brown Country, implied that it isn’t the greatest bloody cluster of random celestial bodies arbitrarily assigned meaning by humans seeking patterns and thereby meaning in an otherwise meaningless universe there is.
In a series of egregious and positively warmongering missives, Tyson called Our Constellation “a tad over-rated,” and even suggested we rename it “the Southern Rhombus”. As all little Vegemites know, impugning the hallowed name of the Cross (or Ol’ Pointy, as she’s affectionately known) is the most heinous of crimes under Australian law, punishable by a swift and summary booting. It’s in the Constitution.
The Southern Cross is a tad over-rated: It’s the smallest of all 88 — a fist at arm’s length covers it entirely.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) August 2, 2015
There’s no middle star in the rectangular Southern Cross to anchor the transept. More accurate to call it “Southern Rhombus”
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) August 2, 2015
True to form, domestic Twitter has reacted largely like this:
Or, more specifically, like this:
I’m being a teensy bit selective here; most of the responses aren’t as dumb as these. But “surely this classes as Racism?” said by a white Australian to a black guy for no reason really sums this week up, huh.
Australia has a long, proud tradition of responding childishly to anything other than uncritical praise from visiting celebrities. Most recently, Azealia Banks was apparently guilty of “obscene Australian attacks” after tweeting her understandable irritation at having beer cans thrown at her at Splendour — a nontroversy Banks rightly relegated to the back of the queue in favour of more important things.
But Australian media is really gonna have to wait because really tryna pay attention to drake and meek mill beef
— AZEALIA BANKS (@AZEALIABANKS) July 29, 2015