Five reasons why you should feel #blessed to be single in your 20s
Ah love. It’s a four-letter word that packs quite the punch. Love simultaneously can be the best thing since sliced bread and heartbreakingly shattering. It’s been making the world go round since day dot and is the reason behind every song ever made. Plus it gave us the story line of The Notebook and where would we be without that movie?
Then there’s being single.
Due to our socialisation process, Disney films and the media’s incessant and indirect messages, being single has been given a bad rap. It’s often been depicted that in order to be happy, one must find a partner, own a house with a white picket fence and have babies. Or else, you’ll end up living in a home with yellow carpet and own lots of cats.
Thankfully, the times are changing and we know now that we can be perfectly content without a partner, marriage or babies. Even celebrities have called BS.
And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting to find your special buddy, we shouldn’t settle for anything less than extraordinary. Being young means not only is it the right time to spread our solo wings, but it can actually be pretty damn awesome too.
So for all those single ladies (and men) who are on Tinder and dread Valentine’s Day, here’re all the reasons why I am all about being single in your 20s.
Be happy with yourself
When you’re in a relationship with someone, your identity becomes blurred as your hobbies, weekend plans and friends become merged as one. Which, when it is harmonious, can be quite beautiful.
However it’s integral for your mental health and your life to know who you are, independent of your relationship. And what’s more important is to not solely rely on anyone for your own happiness. We have all heard that to love someone you need to begin with loving yourself.
Being single in your 20s gives you the time to become friends with the person you’ll be spending your whole life with. So learn to enjoy your own company, discover your passion and dreams, your likes and dislikes, and find out what happiness looks like for you before you can be with someone else.
There’s no doubt that travelling solo or with your friends is an exhilarating time. Throwing yourself into the unknown, meeting incredible people, doing some pretty crazy things and making memories (some of which you won’t be retelling to your grandparents). Being single while travelling gives you the freedom to march to the beat of your own drum, stay on for an extra few weeks (months) and have a holiday fling.
Work on your career
It’s true that hard work does pay off – and there’s nothing more admirable than someone with drive, passion and goals. If you’re single, now’s the time to pull your socks up. While this may mean you have to make some sacrifices and won’t have too many loved-up couple dinners, you will be grinning in a few years time when you land your dream job and you can drink all the rosé in the world.
Across all aspects of life. When you’re in a long-term relationship, you do get to grow together both mentally and sexually and understand each other’s bodies. But we are still young – how do we even know what we want if we haven’t experimented a bit? Being in your 20s is the perfect time to have some wild and spontaneous nights, just make sure you are safe. And go on dates! Meet as many people as you can. Worst case scenario, they will make for a killer story.
Saviour your Bridget Jones moment
It shouldn’t be underestimated the joy one can get from spending the day hungover in one’s underpants, watching re-runs of Friends, eating pasta and contemplating the meaning of life. While at the time you feel like you really need to sort your life out, these days will be few and far between when you grow up and your “real” job demands that you don’t show up to work in your pajamas.
It's OK to not have everything sorted out. No one does. That’s part of the blissful ignorance we are still allowed to have in our 20s. And being single solidifies our Bridget Jones moment, ones that we most certainly will remember fondly in the years to come when we finally have to #adult. So for now I’m going to dance in my bedroom, just because I can and it feels good. And if I want to buy two cats, then I bloody well will.
Avril studies Journalism at Notre Dame in Sydney. In her spare time she enjoys playing cards with her grandfather, drinking one too many margaritas and pondering hypothetical questions. You can read more of her work at writingsnotlost.com.