Everything Is Awesome: Legoland Is Coming To Melbourne
FINALLY.
When I was a kid, I developed a major complex about my brother getting to visit Legoland in Denmark before I was born; I obsessed over family photos showing his tiny blessed six-year-old face lit up with absolute elation, surrounded by Lego, and it made me want to destroy his entire toy plane collection whenever he wasn’t home. But this life-long raring desire to crush my brother’s dreams could now be cured, because Legoland is coming to Australia!
The new Legoland Discovery Centre will be the country’s first major Lego-themed attraction, and will be situated in Melbourne’s massive panic-inducing living-nightmare of an establishment, Chadstone Mall. Covering 2800 square metres, it will include interactive rides, play areas and even a small cinema, which hopefully just screens the Lego Movie on repeat forever. The centre, which will be adjacent to the mall’s main big-people cinema, is designed for three-to-10 year olds for “up to three hours” (putting a time limit on fun: minus five-hundred points), but it doesn’t specifically rule out adults being able to have a go, so don’t let those silly age-appropriate guidelines stop you from reclaiming your youth from your spoilt older brother.
The addition of the centre comes as part of Chadstone mall’s $600 million redevelopment, which will add office towers and apartments, making it upon completion the biggest mall in the country — or in layman’s terms, the best place for hopes and dreams to go to die. “It could become Australia’s version of the New York’s FAO Schwarz,” said head of Melbourne property group CBRE Zelman Ainsworth, who neither confirmed nor denied rumours that probably do exist that Chris Pratt would be at the centre’s opening, or at the very least, hired as the centre’s usher.
Chadstone’s Legoland Discovery Centre is due to open mid-2017.