Relationships end for all different reasons. You could grow apart, fall out of love, or find someone else. For me, I was dumped because I “lifted too much”. Yes, seriously.

The last message I received from my ex was, “It’s really off-putting that you lift more than me. Maybe you’ll be suited to someone else”. Boy, bye!

I understand that everyone has their own preference when it comes to a partner, but it’s not OK that he gets turned off because I can deadlift more than him. Is he angry that he can’t lift 120kg like other guys? Or is he angry that he can’t lift 120kg like a girl can?

I started to feel self conscious about the fact that I was a strong woman. It made me feel as if I could only date a certain demographic of men who also lifted to make sure that I was always the weaker person. This is not OK!

While it definitely wasn’t an ideal experience, there were a few things that I learned about who I do and don’t want to spend my time with.

There Will Always Be One

This isn’t the first time I’ve had a guy I was dating comment on the fact that I should stop weight training. And I’m sure there are other women who have been dumped, turned down or encouraged to not weight train because they will start looking “like a man”.

But come on: it’s the 21^st century. Women should be able to lift weights without men feeling emasculated, and men should also realise they don’t need to have more muscles than a woman to feel like a man.

The Right One Will Accept All Of You

After this relationship ended, I ended up dating a long-term boyfriend who became my first real love. It was a relationship where he encouraged me to keep fit in the ways I loved to. He even came to me for lifting advice when he was unsure about certain workouts for muscle groups. That’s the kind of person you want to date.

Read The Signs  

If you start lifting and your partner says things like “girls don’t lift” or “maybe start doing more cardio”, it’s probably time for you to have a chat to him. I made the mistake of changing my workout to impress my partner. I stopped lifting heavy for months and it really impacted my mental health. A good relationship will never involve someone telling you to give up a sport you love in order to make them feel more secure.

Keep Doing You

For me, the gym is a place where I can focus on myself and make my body into a stronger, healthier vessel. My ex saw the gym as a place for women to run for hours while leaving the weights room to the boys.

I’m in no way a power lifter. I’ve just always been an athletic person and I eventually fell in love with weight training.

So if you love the gym and lifting weights, you keep doing you. Don’t let anyone (especially a significant other) tell you otherwise.