Culture

Counting Down The Seven Best/Worst #QandA Moments Of 2015

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times.

by Maddie Palmer  27 November 2015

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The outrage cycle now spins at breakneck pace, producing a continual flow of twitter spats and teacup storms. Combined with the proliferation of talkshows and radio, the 24-hour news cycle, and social media…

Oh god, that sentence is simply too boring for me to finish. Q and A aired its last episode of the year on Wednesday, so let’s just get some popcorn and reminisce fondly.

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#7: John Madigan Channels JFK, Fails

Aired: February 2, 2015

Listen there’s a whole context here about industry and South Australia and naval contracts and stuff, but this is glorious enough to stand on its own.

What a way to start the year, huh?

And we’re off!

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#6: Germain Greer Wants Julie Bishop To #FreeTheNipple For Bali 9

Aired: March 8, 2015

Early this year, after some women’s pictures of themselves breastfeeding or otherwise exposed were removed by Instagram, many feminists went on a mission to #FreeTheNipple, posting topless selfies to protest the policing of the female body.

Proving once again that online outrage is impermanent, the campaign has since been abandoned, leaving our areolas to pine away in their polyester prisons. But as it was happening, #FreeTheNipple coincided with Q&A’s ‘All About Women’ episode, in which the panel was all-female for the first time. The guests danced around some of the expected facets of modern feminism: representation, sexual harassment, and exactly what women should or shouldn’t feel guilty about.

When the topic of nipple censorship inevitably arose, Greer chose to take an unusual standpoint for a radical feminist who launched her career by arguing that the policing and commodification of female bodies and sexuality was disempowering and restrictive: she said the protestors in question just weren’t stacked enough to make their point.

Greer didn’t elaborate on how bigger boobs can have a bigger impact, but the debate barrelled along merrily regardless. Host Annabel Crabb cheekily asked Julie Bishop if she’d ever considered publicly disrobing, to which the Minister gave an emphatic and expected no.

Mere minutes after declaring that flashing lacks the political finesse to achieve anything much, Greer then implied the opposite: “What if it got you the commutation of the life sentences for two Australians?” she asked, daringly and idiotically.

To be fair, she laughed as she said it — almost as if she was aware that going topless is not a traditional part of the foreign portfolio. But by then it was too late. The fury had begun.

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#5: Barnaby Joyce Solves Domestic Violence

Aired: September 28, 2015

This year, the issue of endemic violence against women has finally begun to take the place in the national conversation — if not the budget — that it deserves.

As with all critical political issues involving women, it was time to ask the men how they felt about it. Panelist Barnaby Joyce graciously obliged to speak on the theme, and echoed the government’s position that the crisis was best ameliorated by having lots of speeches about awareness and culture rather than throwing some desperately needed cash to recently-razed frontline services.

“This might seem a bit quaint and a bit whoopy, but we’ve got to start changing our attitudes all the time with how we deal with women,” said Joyce. “Things like don’t swear in front of them, it’s not politically incorrect to open a door.”

Barnaby, you’re actually pretty close with this one; a better answer might have been, don’t swear abuse AT women, and open doors whenever you want but more importantly don’t block one if someone is trying to escape.

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#4: Experienced Parliamentarian Joe Hockey Crumbles In Face Of Aristotelian Prowess Of Undergrad; Changes Tax Policy On The Fly

Aired: May 25, 2015

In May, university student Subeta Vimalarajah followed a movement begun in Europe and lobbied the government to remove the GST on sanitary products. She argued that these should be considered necessity items, rather than optional products for indulgent women who choose the luxury of refraining from bleeding freely.

Until this point, the government had maintained the position that the tampon tax would remain in place, but then-Finance Minister Hockey was understandably bamboozled by being asked a question about an aspect of his own portfolio that was currently in the news cycle.

Six months later, Hockey’s gone, but the tampon tax remains.

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#3: Malcolm Turnbull Pre-emptively Kind Of Announces He’s The New Prime Minister

Aired: February 16

Remember when Malcolm Turnbull wasn’t Prime Minister yet? Of course you do, it was about ten minutes ago. That is if you’re going by the arbitrary measure of whether or not he actually held the parliamentary position of that name.

But in reality Turnbull’s had the gig since mid-February, when he broke from the tradition of yelling at the other panelists or patronising the audience to face down the barrel of the camera, circumventing cabinet and diplomatic processes, to speak directly to the president of Indonesia and plead for the lives of Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukamaran, who were on death row at the time.

“I can just address this to the Indonesian Government — it is not a sign of weakness to spare the lives of these men,” said his mouth.

“Not everyone in Australian politics is an onion-eating fool,” said his tone.

“Hello Australia, please bow to your new overlord,” said his grown-up, non-leather suit jacket.

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#2: #Analgate

Aired: August 24, 2015

Moderating social media for live TV is actually harder than you’d link; you’re usually dealing with three different programs, trying to keep track of a discussion, and frantically combing through a deluge of dipshits to find the rare person who actually makes a salient point.

With that in mind, it’s understandable that the occasional minor detail goes unnoticed. Like, for example, the handle of said salient point-maker.

Coming so hot on the heels of the Zaky Mallah debacle (spoiler alert: it makes the list!), right-wing pundits barely had to draw breath before they had another reason to shut down #theirabc.

The most elegant response, as usual, belonged to Crabb herself, whose face will forever be associated with that tweet.

I’d like to take the opportunity to point out that it would only be defamation if Abbott could prove that he did not, in fact, love anal.

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#1: Zaky Mallah 

Aired: June 22, 2015

For a show entirely predicated on the construction of conflicts, Q&A finally reached its zenith mid-year, and then came precariously close to going down in a blaze of glory.

Let’s recap: amid reports that a growing number of young Australian men were travelling to Syria to join ISIL, the government had proposed that anyone suspected could have their citizenship stripped under the sole discretion of Immigration Minister Peter Dutton. Presented with the conundrum that is leaving people stateless, the policy was watered done to apply only to those Australians who held dual nationality.

Enter Zaky Mallah, the first Australian charged (and ultimately acquitted) under Australia’s post-9/11 terrorism laws.

Nice try Tony, but there’s no putting that toothpaste back in the tube.

What followed will likely go down as Auntie’s most troubling time in history (at least until Peppa Pig comes out or gets cancelled). Here’s a what happened:

The ABC apologised.

It was pointed out that, thanks to its usual audience survey process, the ABC knew of Mallah’s criminal history and planned question.

Mallah embraced his fifteen minutes of fame, appearing on The Project the next evening for a Waleed Aly dressing-down, and writing a piece for The Guardian about how he hates ISIS, and was misinterpreted.

Newscorp chose to run front papers equating the ABC with ISIS.

Prime Minister Tony Abbott condemned the ABC, again asking “which side is the ABC on?” (as if it was a broadcaster’s job to be on Team Australia), and declaring that “heads should roll” (an unfortunate choice of metaphor when discussing ISIS).

The ABC announced a formal audit of the organisation.

Abbott banned members of his front bench from appearing on the program, presumably reckoning that a great way to achieve balance in a news program is to forbid your government from representing itself.

And this is where it got interesting: Malcolm Turnbull was booked to appear on July 13 in his capacity as Minister For Communications Who Is In No Way Trying To Topple The PM. He’d refused to explicitly rule out breaking ranks.

Remember, at the time, Abbott was busy dealing with the Bronwyn Bishop disaster, had been sinking in the polls for fifteen months straight, and the six months’ reprieve he had demanded from the party (after his first close call in February) was drawing to a close. And nobody had forgotten Turnbull’s statemanlike appearance on the program earlier in the year.

The ABC is a curious thing: despite near-constant accusations of #theirABC’s left wing bias, and however conservatively the population votes, the public really likes the ABC, and any intimations that the government are trying to fuck with it are treated with justified suspicion.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place, Abbott declared that all would be forgiven if the program was moved from the Television to News & Current Affairs division, a change which has reportedly had no effect whatsoever. Most consider this announcement to be the only way Abbott could extract himself from the situation without appearing to cave, and the ABC accepted the offer graciously.

Things have been pretty quiet since then: it’s hard to avoid the suspicion that Turnbull has ordered his ministers to please try to keep out of trouble for the rest of the year.

The thing is though: I can’t help but feel but the whole schmozzle could have been easily avoided had Jones — rather than apologising and ruling the comment out of order — asked Mallah to show his work. Mallah seems to me to be the perfect example of someone at risk of being drawn to ISIS, not because he’s been radicalised to the point of no return by a pernicious government, but because he is a foolish attention seeking young man looking for some form – any form – of glory. Perhaps if he had kept talking, the holes in his reasoning would have become clear; rather than being accused of platforming terrorist sympathisers, the program might have provided a valuable insight.

But this is Q&A. It’s not about insights, like Four Corners, or the 7.30 Report, or, you know, Insight. It’s a glorious, soundbite-filled smackdown.

So see you back here next year, Q&A. We’ll be ready to rumble.

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Maddie Palmer is a writer, broadcaster, TV and digital producer at SBS. She tweets from @msmaddiep.

Feature image via Fiona Scott MP on Twitter.