Culture

Christopher Pyne Creates Petition To Save ABC, Does Not Understand What ‘Irony’ Is

SIGN IT NOW.

Oh, this is rich. This is so, so rich. This is rich like a 5-star dessert or the character arcs on The Sopranos. This is rich like gravy mixed with custard and served on chocolate gateau. This, ladies and gentlemen, is Christopher Pyne.

For the love of god, Christopher. In what fantastical universe of goblins and pixies do you think it is permissible to strip our national broadcaster of more than 5% of its funding and then turn around and start a petition to try and save one of its bureaus in the very same week. I mean, at least let the memories of these savage cuts dull before you jump astride your moral high horse. It happened literally 36 hours ago. I’ve remembered individual muesli bar experiences for longer than that.

I can assure you, Christopher, your electorate isn’t about to blame a Mark Scott-driven conspiracy to strip them of local representation. They’re going to blame you and your merry band of shambling mouthbreathers, considering you were almost definitely one of the men responsible for gutting the ABC in the first place.

As of writing, Christopher Pyne’s petition has 74 of a desired 100 signatures. Which is a depressingly small target, really. This is a service that 84% of Australia describes as being “valuable”. The least you could go for is a few thousand, right?

I sort of feel like we should try and get everyone to sign it, just so that we have a convenient platform from which to air our grievances. Like this guy:

Screen Shot 2014-11-19 at 9.45.12 amOr good friend of the ABC Gerard Henderson here:

Screen Shot 2014-11-19 at 9.09.16 am

Probably not the real Gerard Henderson.

If you do want to get involved in the fight to save Aunty, Labor is running its own, less insane petition, or you can head to one of the many rallies being put on by the good folk at Hands Off Our ABC over the next week.

But if you really want to let Christopher Pyne know what you think, then you know what to do.

Image via Stefan Postles/Getty