Straight famous men keep kissing each other and, as enjoyable as it can be for the rest of us, it’s unfortunately a problem.

In the latest instalment of unexpected kissing to sweep the internet, Harry Styles and James Corden mashed their faces together during a recent episode of The Late Late Show. Naturally, people are going mad for the good-natured pash, probably due to the extreme hotness of Harry Styles more than anything else. The men are also being praised for subverting traditional masculinity, which I guess is true.

But, while I’m entirely sure no harm was meant from their brief liaison, we do have to investigate why straight dudes kissing for lols isn’t exactly hilarious for queer people.

Queerness Is Funny To Straight People

Styles and Corden aren’t the first to try this out. Think back to Andrew Garfield and Ryan Reynolds at the Golden Globes, or Andrew Garfield and Stephen Colbert, or James Corden and Bryan Cranston. It’s not really a surprise that this is becoming more common. Homosexual behaviour is (slowly) losing its stigma, and straight actors can have a cheeky public make-out session without being worried about their careers being negatively affected. It’s progress, I guess. It’s fun and flirty. It’s a goof!

While award ceremonies and chat shows are known for a bit of light-hearted fun in this department, both the motivation for the act and the response from the public should be examined. Why is two dudes macking on each other still an attention-grabbing stunt?

Unfortunately the underlying motivation for two straight guys kissing is because it gets a response, and that response is almost always laughter. It’s because two men kissing is seen as outrageous, shocking or at the very least, different. Sometimes it’s even seen as grotesque — especially when men who aren’t conventionally attractive do it. The ‘bold’ act is seen as disgusting or unnatural, and is therefore funny.

Even if you disagree with that point, you have to admit: if homosexual kissing was actually entirely normalised into society, nobody would do it to get attention.

Example: Y’all going ham over James Corden kissing Harry Styles. They aren’t doing it combat the rules of masculinity. They did it cause it’s laughable to see two dudes kissing and even set it up as such. It’s homophobic af.

— Phillip Henry (@MajorPhilebrity) December 12, 2017

Queerbaiting And Double Standards

Part of the reason people have started to do this is because of the frankly understandable reaction to the sight of men kissing: big sexy approval! This is often from the queer community and the media itself. I don’t want to be a grinch about hot men like Garfield and Reynolds locking lips, but I also don’t want to enable the trivialising of homosexual relationships purely because I’m horny for some lanky actors.

The baiting of the queer community for love and attention isn’t the most dire part of the issue, but the overwhelmingly thirsty response tends to keep encouraging these things to happen (as well as the media’s love of spectacle). People just need to cool it, and stop acting like this is something amazing and brave, ok?

This does nothing for queer people except continue the notion that same-sex affection is somehow humorous.

Also, let’s generally not encourage James Corden. Corden is something of a repeat offender; ‘having a lil’ kiss with a bloke’ is one of the most common”jokes” in his repertoire. You can find literal montages of him making out with Daniel Radcliffe, Bryan Cranston, David Walliams and a baker’s dozen of minor British celebrities. This isn’t even the first time he’s kissed Harry Styles.

James Corden is not queer himself. In fact, if he was, his persistence in trotting out this trick for comedy would actually be closer to sexual harassment. Sure, it’s dicey to examine Corden’s comedy too deeply, but each stunt is a great example of the kind of vague homophobia that sits behind this behaviour. We shouldn’t encourage James Corden in this, or frankly anything.

James corden is officially the luckiest man alive pic.twitter.com/tHLUFQuIJy

— ℳӃ ପଓ･ﾟ (@_addictofhxrry) December 12, 2017

James Corden remains the luckiest man on the planet pic.twitter.com/NT0bFZFjzn

— triv (@bedroomflicker) December 8, 2017

One of the more positive aspects of straight men kissing could be seen as the deliberate fucking of gender norms. Masculinity is so fragile that any straight men showing affection in public is definitely a good thing. It’s GOOD for straight men. But it does nothing for queer people except continue the notion that same-sex affection is somehow humorous.

For the record: when asked about his sexuality, Harry Styles has recently said that he doesn’t particularly like to label himself. While his sexuality is his own business and he owes us literally nothing, it does mean we could be incorrect to bundle him into the ‘straight’ box. But, Corden’s habit of non-queer related kisses does make the example still valid.

Try flipping the issue. Could two queer men kiss on the stage of a major awards show? Not without controversy and discussion, and not without possible ramifications for their careers. Straight men are absolutely performing this act from a place of privilege which their queer colleagues do not yet possess.

As Andrew Kahn wrote in an excellent discussion on Slate’s Side Eye blog:

“For much of the last century — though not all of it — it has been physically dangerous for gay people to show affection, even just to hold hands, in public. For three pairs of straight male celebrities to ape gay intimacy on TV feels like a totally oblivious and disrespectful flaunting of privilege.

“They have nothing to lose, and perhaps a little to gain, by locking lips and feigning doe eyes. They get to show their audience how fun and uninhibited they are without paying any of the price of being gay in public.”

I’d much rather celebrate two ordinary gay men kissing in public for what they do for visibility and normalising our relationships in the face of homophobia.

A jerk fest over two straight, celebrity men kissing “for the lols” or attention is tone deafhttps://t.co/A5Z1IRtOS5

— Elias Jahshan (@Elias_Jahshan) December 12, 2017

The Impossible Utopia Of Hot Kissings

Let’s not forget that this is even more fucked for women. While straight men kissing on stage is seen as laughable, unfortunately women doing exactly the same thing becomes inherently sexualised. They’re either censured — a deeply conservative criticism stemming from the way women’s sexualities are so often policed by society — or ogled. Sometimes both.

No one was laughing along when Madonna and Britney Spear’s famously locked lips at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards.

Madonna and Britney were absolutely doing it for shock value too. This wasn’t an impish prank, and in fact could be seen as a statement about reclaiming women’s sexuality. But once again, this comes at the expense of actual queer people. Faux-lesbian behaviour is definitely more accepted by the straight male population, but this is because of grossness rather than any progressiveness towards LGBTIQ+ equality.

I’m not saying that straight people can’t ever kiss — obviously they can. Let a thousand blossoms bloom, as they say. But perhaps doing it as a publicity stunt needs to calm down until they’re sharing the stage with queer people who are also making out without repercussion.

Perhaps, one day, every awards night will just be a massive equal-love smooching fest, and that’s great. But while there’s still a homophobic imbalance in society which sees straight people kissing each other as different (and therefore noteworthy), people will keep doing it.

Ironically, in the utopian future where that becomes entirely solved for society and homophobia is erased forever, straight celebrities wouldn’t even bother kissing each other, because nobody would actually care. A better world we can all dream of.

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Patrick Lenton is a writer and author. He tweets at @patricklenton.