Well, it turns out people are still extremely fired up about Cadbury taking the word “Easter” off its Easter egg packaging, despite that being a totally fake rumour that was disproven two years ago.

A refresher if you haven’t been holding a bitter grudge about this for the past few years: back in 2016, a UK newspaper published a sensational article claiming that Cadbury was “censoring” the Christian faith and caving to political correctness by removing the “E-word” from packaging.

The evidence for this claim was one (1) Cadbury egg product that didn’t have Easter in big letters on it, totally ignoring that tonnes of other Cadbury products still featured the word. Still, the fearmongering went viral despite clear, patient attempts to debunk it, and two years later Cadbury’s poor social media managers are still being bombarded with cranky comments.

And the problem is localised just to the UK, it’s happening right here in Australia too.

social media managers for Cadbury in Australia are having a hell of a time convincing people that a fake news meme about it removing the word "Easter" from Easter eggs isn't true pic.twitter.com/U6BFmcC055

— Elle Hunt (@mlle_elle) February 12, 2018

The standard Cadbury response to these posts uses the word Easter eight (8) times, but still people aren’t getting the message. “Won’t be buying any Cadbury Easter eggs at all… yes I said it EASTER eggs”, one woman ~edgily~ commented just yesterday, in what is perhaps the most transgressive sentence to ever have been typed.

She’s not alone either. There are just… so many people who apparently cannot read packaging. Here’s a sample:

To be honest, even if it was true, why people are so worked up about the word “Easter” being cut from product packaging is baffling. The article that set off this whole clusterfuck cried that it was an attack on the Christian faith, but the capitalist ritual of purchasing chocolate eggs is a pretty recent development, and is only very loosely linked to the death and resurrection of the late J.C.

There’s Much, Much Better Stuff These People Could Be Posting On Cadbury’s Wall

Perhaps the saddest thing about all of these people getting fired up about Easter is that it drowns out the truly weird, truly wild stuff getting posted to Cadbury’s wall.

We can highly recommend taking a dip into the visitor posts if you’re after a good laugh. In the last week, standouts have included a 350-word chronicle of a punter eating a chocolate bunny only to be confronted with utter despair, and, inexplicably, a picture of a baby wombat called Winston “relaxing” in a box of Cadbury chocolates.

In fact, the Cadbury Australia wall seems to be a bit of a magnet for purple prose. For example, a punter complaining about finding a bite taken out of their Caramilk bar conveyed the heartbreak thusly: “to think that someone else had tasted my precious chocolate before my lips experienced the golden blend of caramelised white chocolate, is not just disappointing, it’s a crime! They violated my chocolate and stripped me of all my happiness.”

“When you said ‘share the joy’, this simply isn’t what I had in mind. I don’t know how I can ever recover from this.”

Another complaint allowed us to step into the writer’s shoes to experience a disappointing chocolate in real time — “I began at the ears as is ritual, nibbling my way through the bunny to reveal nothing but disappointment,” it begins, ultimately asking the reader to “imagine my disappointment and shattered childhood memories” as it is revealed that the “beloved bunny has in fact become a shadow of its former self.” Truly moving stuff.

If you’re feeling so inclined, you can leave your own heartfelt letter to Cadbury here. Just please don’t make it about the word “Easter”.