‘Blank Space’ Recited In Parliament; Taylor Swift’s Dominance Of Australian Politics Complete

Omnipresent pop star and almighty leader of Hollywood’s largest girl gang Taylor Swift appears to be as skilful at penetrating the Australian political psyche as she is at producing chart-topping sick beats™. She appeared in NSW Premier Mike Baird’s rather adorable, yet unsuccessful, attempt at a viral video earlier this year; ABC boss Mark Scott expertly quoted “Shake It Off” in a senate estimates hearing in February; she almost tore the country apart during this year’s Triple J Hottest 100 nomination period (okay, that’s not so much politics as it is completely insane, but I ran out of past examples); and last night Tay Tay appeared in Parliament to spiritually guide the political discourse yet again.

Labor senator Sam Dastyari used lyrics from ‘Blank Space’ to direct shade at former and current deputy leader Julie Bishop, whose still standing after Monday night’s leadership coup — presumably as part of Labor’s probably very real plan to win the next election based entirely on Taylor Swift fans’ votes.

After naming a few song options that were tossed around online with his Twitter followers, Dastyari introduced the inevitable winner. “I will tell you who is relevant: Taylor Swift,” Dastyari said/preached.

“And in Taylor Swift’s poetic, beautiful and – I think – touching song ‘Blank Space’, which really is a modern soliloquy on the Liberal Party.”

At this point, people in the chamber start laughing because of course they do, to which he responds, “I am quoting a poet here. I notice that other Senators are laughing; I just do not think they are treating this with the respect that it deserves.” The man is clearly some sort of popular music-referencing super-genius. He knows exactly when and where to reference literally any song in any given political situation. Spicks and Specks could be hosted and guest-starred exclusively by him. 

When Julie Bishop runs for leader – I will insist her campaign theme song is 'Survivor' by Destiny's child. pic.twitter.com/Rv0GHHumOz

— Sam Dastyari (@samdastyari) September 14, 2015

Alright, guys, settle down — you’re ALL winners here.

.@tanya_plibersek @samdastyari "oops I did it again" pic.twitter.com/LwvnUMSZFE

— Teo (@teofromoz) September 15, 2015

Part of Dastyari’s speech was uploaded to his Facebook page, where Swift fans have flocked to pay their thanks and pledge their undying electoral support. Before watching, please be aware your body may cringe and flinch consecutively for several minutes.

Need something to wash that down with? Here, have this ‘Blank Space’ parody clip of Liberal Party ministers and Rupert Murdoch passionately making out and arguing; which is not too far from the truth, really.