Culture

Bill Clinton Loves Balloons And He Doesn’t Care Who Knows It

Nobody gets between Bill and his balloons.

by Tom Clift  30 July 2016

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On Thursday night in Philadelphia, Hillary Clinton made history by becoming the first woman ever nominated by a major political party for President of the United States. Naturally, the landmark moment was celebrated in the most American way possible: by dropping a shit-ton of red, white and blue balloons on people’s heads.

According to Wired, this particular balloon drop featured 100,000 balloons, which I think we can all agree is a slightly excessive number. Still, it was all worth it for the expression of pure joy and wonderment on the face of former President Bill Clinton, who despite presumably having been involved in quite a few balloon drops in his time looks as though he literally couldn’t be happier.

Of course being the seasoned diplomat that he is, Clinton obviously recognised that when an adorable little girl asked if she could have his balloon, the mature and grownup thing to do was to share it wi–JUST KIDDING! HE SNATCHED IT AWAY FROM HER! BACK OFF LITTLE GIRL, THAT’S HIS BALLOON!

A representative from the Clinton camp later claimed that the former President was actually saving the balloon for his granddaughter, Charlotte, who turns two in September. Yeah, sure.