What Does Beyonce’s Mysterious ‘Lemonade’ Trailer For HBO Actually Mean?
Is it a new album? A short film? Does she just need to get a bunch of lemons off her hands?
Today Beyonce teased a video on her Instagram that turned out to be a trailer for Lemonade. Oh, you don’t know what Lemonade is? That’s because no one does. It’s something that is appearing on HBO next Saturday night. It involves Beyonce and ah, yeah, end of list.
The “world premiere event” has to be related to the album that Beyonce has been teasing since she dropped the incredible and provocative single ‘Formation’ and stole the Super Bowl Halftime show from sad Chris Martin. But why HBO? Could this be the most simultaneously loaded and ambiguous video in the history of the internet?
The trailer features some pretty spooky imagery (a lot of which is reminiscent of the ‘Haunted’ video with a splash of ‘***Flawless’) and cinematic scenes of women in tribal paint moving in synchronicity on a train, supermodel Winnie wearing a crown of thorns, clouds rolling dramatically in the sky (because Beyonce controls the weather, except for climate change, because she does not create bad things) and Beyonce smashing a CCTV camera with a baseball bat.
All the while, she is saying bone-shakingly dramatic things like “the past and the present merge to meet us here” and “why can’t you see me?” and “what am I doing, my love?” which seem poignant, while also being meaningless and tethered to nothing at all.
In the words of Roger… #LEMONADE pic.twitter.com/xJNlp4bEer
— Jackée Harry (@JackeeHarry) April 18, 2016
Beyonce is so powerful now, that she can literally make a video with random nonsense words, slap a date in there and everyone goes absolutely nuts. God I love this woman.
“I own you.”
I have watched this trailer so many times. Here are some possible explanations for Lemonade:
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It’s The Launch Of Beyonce’s New Album
This seems the most likely explanation, right? Rumours that Beyonce was set to release her album this month have been rampant, and the recent timing of her Elle interview seems to point to this (Beyonce rarely does interviews anymore, even denying Vogue one despite appearing on their September issue last year). A week’s notice is way more warning than we got for the surprise drop of 2013’s Beyonce. She must know that we need to prepare for these things: cancel plans, stock up on tinned food, etc.
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It’s A Short Film Or A Collection Of Music Videos
One of the most mental things about Beyonce’s last album was that not only was it’s conception a complete secret, but she also managed to shoot videos for all the songs and drop them simultaneously with her album (somewhere in Texas, Taylor Swift wept, then promptly booked a ticket for New York). Perhaps HBO has made a deal with Beyonce for a similar thing, or a short film that features all her new album tracks like Kanye’s extended ‘Runaway’ video.
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She’s Just Trying To Get Some Lemons Off Her Hands
Beyonce is a goddamn human too, okay? She doesn’t want rotten lemons dropping all over her fucking backyard, which inevitably happens when you have a lemon tree, because you can never seem to keep up with how quickly those sour yellow abominations seem to multiply. When Beyonce wears a Topshop leotard on her Instagram, that leotard sells out. When she poses with lemons, demand for lemons increases.
Like, really.
Take them.
She needs you to take these fucking lemons off her hands.
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She Hates Game of Thrones
Perhaps Beyonce was just as salty about last season as you were. “The Sand Snakes are LAME!” she probably screeched, throwing lemons at the TV as she and Jay relaxed on the couch. “This show is dealing with assault in an ill-informed and haphazard manner!” Beyonce wants the new season to be good, but she also wants to send the showrunners a clear message. How better to do that than to air a special on the same network, a night before the season six premiere, which will probably make Game of Throne‘s ratings look minuscule in comparison? You mess with Beyonce, and your joys will turn to ashes in your mouth.
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She’s Warning Us About An Upcoming Plague
As a member of the 1 percent, Beyonce is made privy to certain things before she they are made public. It is possible that Beyonce is using her elevated platform to warn the public about a new disease strain that is threatening the world order, the vaccine to which can only be found in a biological compound sourced from lemonade. That is exactly the kind of altruistic thing that she would do.
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It’s A Mathematical Code
The first recorded reference to carbonated lemonade was in 1833 in the United States. In 1833 in Spain, Princess Isabella ascended the throne to become the Queen of Spain as a three-year-old. By the time she was four, her reign was solidified and she remained in power for 30 more years. BLUE IVY JUST TURNED FOUR, ERGO BLUE IVY WILL SOON BE QUEEN OF SPAIN, OR QUEEN OF SOMETHING AT LEAST.
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She’s Like: “Haha, You Dummies, I Can Do Whatever The Fuck I Want, I’m Beyonce.”
It’s probably just an album drop, hey.
