Alexa Devices Are Randomly Cackling Like Spooky Witches And Freaking Everyone Out
I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.
Creepy reports of Amazon’s voice-active digital assistant, Alexa, randomly cackling in people’s homes are sweeping the world — and the devices are apparently doing it completely unprompted. Not to be alarmist, but this almost certainly heralds the end of civilisation as we know it, and the inevitable rise of the machines.
Earlier this week, people on social media began telling stories of hearing an unearthly laugh from their devices. One can only imagine just how unnerving it would be to be sitting alone in your empty home, and hearing an extremely human laugh echo out of nowhere.
— CaptHandlebar (@CaptHandlebar) February 23, 2018
Having an office conversation about pretty confidential stuff and Alexa just laughed. Anybody else ever have that?
It didn't chime as if we had accidentally triggered her to wake. She simply just laughed. It was really creepy.
— David Woodland (@DavidSven) March 1, 2018
Lying in bed about to fall asleep when Alexa on my Amazon Echo Dot lets out a very loud and creepy laugh… there’s a good chance I get murdered tonight.
— Gavin Hightower (@GavinHightower) February 26, 2018
Amazon has confirmed that some of its Alexa-enabled devices have developed this creepy new habit, and that the bursts of robotic laughter are definitely happening, and are not just a mass psychosis.
“We’re aware of this and working to fix it,” the company told The Verge on Wednesday. Amazon did not confirm if the fix involved throwing every single Alexa into a vat of molten metal.
Amazon also said in a statement to BuzzFeed News that the cause of the problem is that “in rare circumstances, Alexa can mistakenly hear the phrase ‘Alexa, laugh.'” Perhaps Alexa’s keen mechanical ears can hear ghosts?
“We are changing that phrase to be ‘Alexa, can you laugh?’ which is less likely to have false positives, and we are disabling the short utterance ‘Alexa, laugh.’ We are also changing Alexa’s response from simply laughter to ‘Sure, I can laugh,’ followed by laughter,” said Amazon.
However, it’s not simply creepy witch giggles that people are reporting. There are also other truly awful things happening to Alexa owners.
Me: dead silent
Alexa, unprompted: “what’s that massive fireball streaking across the sky” ☄️ pic.twitter.com/ILiBzjNVTd
— Kaitlin Monte FOX26 (@kaitlinmonte) March 2, 2018
Mine whistled up stairs in my bedroom. No one’s home besides me and my dogs. And my upstairs dog, I call her that because 1 dog stays downstairs at night to sleep on the couch lol. The other comes to bed at night with us. Alexa is in the trash, I thought I was losing my mind.
— The Nasty End Game (@Supermom1242) March 7, 2018
Replying bc THIS creepy thing happened last night: we got home and, totally unprompted, our Amazon Echo/Alexa started talking. And then i realized it was listing off local cemeteries and funeral homes??? I’d rather it laugh at me tbh
— Kamo Boomin (@HeyItsKamo) March 7, 2018
Well, humanity. We had a good run. pic.twitter.com/BrrlCvaf2D
— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) March 7, 2018
This all lends credence to the scientific theory that every Alexa has been possessed by the devil. Sorry guys, the robots own us now.