A Dudebro On Craigslist Has Found The Perfect Way For You To Sell Your Shitty Old Car
Hint: it includes a lot of Photoshop.
Some might think that selling a beat-up old 2001 Honda Civic on the internet is a pretty uneventful thing. It’s kind of a hassle for the person selling and it’s not that exciting for the person buying. Right? WRONG. This week, Uproxx have found a dudebro from LA called Chris who has exceeded everyone’s expectations and created the closest thing Craigslist has ever seen to a masterpiece.
“BACK UP. Are you ready to get to WORK?” the ad reads, in the most promising introduction for a used car I’ve ever read in my life.
“Then drive the car that says, ‘Shut the fuck up, I’m commuting!'”
“Fast cars and big trucks all scream the same thing: ‘I’M OVERCOMPENSATING!’ If you’re secure about the size of your genitalia, drive something that tells the world you give zero shits because your average 35 MPfuckingG,” the ad continues. “This car is all-Civic, ladies. It hasn’t been trashed and racing-modded by some yabbo, because it’s a fucking Civic. Get real people.”
Chris makes a compelling case for buying the car even if it is kind of overpriced at $3,293 — he also shows a particular aptitude for awkwardly shoving profanity into words that do not at all require it — but all this is garbage compared to the photos.
Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.
Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs…
Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.
Yeah, I’ve taken the liberty of adding quotes from Die Hard. What of it?
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Check out the full listing here.