It’s hard to describe the university experience to other people. It’s an explosion of moments ranging from the earth-shatteringly important to the mind-numbingly mundane – with a few free sausage sizzles peppered in for good measure. In my opinion, the English language hasn’t evolved enough to explain the peculiar and unique occurrences that uni students will encounter during their degrees.

So I’ve had to invent some words. Now you’ll have the perfect little ditties to drop next time you’re talking all things uni.

#1 Slecture

Definition: sleeping in a lecture.

When you’re feeling drowsy during a lecture and dare to get some shut-eye, you’ve got a slecture on your hands friend.

“Nah man, I think I’ll sit at the back this time; today’s looking like it’ll be a slecture for me.”

#2 Quaffee

Definition: having a coffee in the quad.

If you’ve ever met up with a friend for coffee in the quad, this one’s for you.

“Yeah so we had a coffee in the quad.” “Oh you mean a quaffee?” “ I guess so…”

#3 Flearning  

Definition: when you’re having a flirt, but you’re also learning.

This one’s important. Because we’re not robots, we can’t just switch off our base desires when we should be paying attention. It’s perfectly possible to be scholarly whilst also chatting up whoever’s tickling your fancy.

“He wouldn’t stop asking me what time it was in that tute, I’m pretty sure it was a clumsy attempt at flearning.”

#4 Flukehole

Definition: fluking something thanks to a loophole.

Have you got a friend that’s always somehow passing a course by the skin of their arse? A housemate who always manages to game the system and come out on top? They’ve been exploiting flukeholes for their entire uni careers.

“She’s so lucky, she’s always managing to find these flukeholes in the syllabus”

#5 Eduwaiting

Definition: that awkward amount of time between classes.

If you didn’t manage to nail your timetabling, and most days start with a 9am tute, followed by a four-hour wait for your workshop, and then another 45 minutes until your last lecture starts, then you’ve done a lot of eduwaiting.

“I’m sick of this library and my phone’s almost out of battery, I do a lot of eduwaiting on Tuesdays.” 

#6 Cheats 

Definition: cheap eats.

Either you or someone you know at uni is a cheater. They’re always finding new ways to pimp out Mi-Goreng, they’re dumpster-diving and they know all the cheapest places on campus.

“Yeah he cheats.” “On his girlfriend?! “Oh no, he just doesn’t like paying a lot of money for food.”

#7 Instacramming

Definition: when someone just has to tell social media how much they’re studying by uploading post after post of artfully arranged books and notes.

We’ve all done it. Some are more serial offenders than others, but during your degree, you will definitely Instacram. And that’s OK. It’s a coping mechanism, I get it.

“Maybe she would have graduated and not gotten rabies if she hadn’t have done so much Instacramming.”

#8 Sturry

Definition: A stress/study durry.

Maybe you’ve had all of the coffee you can handle, and you need something else to keep you up. Or maybe you just need something to break up an all-nighter. Everyone has a mate who loves a sturry.

“He’s such a hard-worker, I always see him outside the library munching a sturry.”

#9 Group Assignmates  

Definition: people you have to be friends with because you’re in a group assignment together.

The small-talk. The slightly-forced Facebook add. The understanding that none of you want to be there. These are the hallmarks of having group assignmates.

“I’m not even sure why I invited him to my 21st, we’re only group assignmates.”

(Lead image: Awkward/MTV)