Since the dawn of time, man has been on an important quest. We’re not talking the quest to discover the meaning of life, nor the quest to find life outside of our planet, but a quest to answer the almost unanswerable question: how the hell do you cure a hangover? It’s a question that’s plagued us for centuries, but there are easily accessible answers all around us – in fact, they’re likely in our very own kitchen.

#1 Pears

Would you believe that one of the source materials for some of our nation’s best cider is also the cure for the imminent hangover that awaits you the morning after? Well, brace yourself, because the CSIRO has found that chowing down on a certain type of pear or two before a solid drinking session can seriously reduce your blood alcohol level and hangover symptoms. If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, then a pear a day is going to keep your hangover at bay.

#2 Eggs

Besides the hangover question, humanity has also relentlessly been wondering which came first: the chicken or the egg? It doesn’t matter, because the latter is the only one that’s going to get rid of the post-drinking blues. Besides providing the energy necessary to tackle the day’s adventures, eggs contain a large amount of cysteine, which is the substance that breaks down the hangover-curing toxin, acetaldehyde. Basically, eggs are the much needed mop for your vodka-soaked liver.

#3 Bananas

A huge misconception about curing the dreaded hangover is that you need a bucketload of greasy food to soak up all the alcohol. This is a total myth, and I reckon that’s just all of us trying to justify spending $20 on a McDonald’s brekkie. Instead, have a banana or two. Bananas contain heaps of potassium, which studies show is a mineral lost when we drink alcohol. A lack of potassium is actually what contributes to the dehydration associated with a hangover.

#4 Cheese

Cheese has all the good shit in it that’s going to piss your hangover right off, including calcium, enzymes and protein. It has the miraculous ability to coat things, which means it’ll essentially line your stomach and provide it some soothing relief. But the best cheeses are the aged and downright smelly ones – Gruyere is your friend here!

#5 Coconut water

Frankly, water should be the first thing you consume after a big night getting on it. The more hydrated you are the better, because God knows you’re anything but after last night. But coconut water is an even better alternative. Coconut water contains electrolytes, which are really important – having a balance of these in your system allows for hydration to take its course. It’s also a far better option than Gatorade or Powerade, which do contain electrolytes, but also include excessive sugar and other artificial things. Plus, coconut water is pretty on trend.

Jackson is studying a Bachelor of Communication degree at the University of Newcastle and is the rightful heir to the throne.

(Lead image: Parks And Recreation/NBC)