It’s the relationship equivalent of the trolley problem. Do you ask ‘what are we?’ and risk becoming the butt of an internet joke, or do you suffer in silence?

It’s enough to make anyone stress-eat an entire pizza or spend five hours deliberating on a phone call to your best friend.

I’m a firm believer in being direct and honest – mainly because the alternative is wasting your time and emotional energy.

From friendships to romantic relationships, there are five situations where asking the question is beyond necessary. If any of them sound familiar, I’m sorry to say that you’ve got an uncomfortable conversation coming your way.

Also, the memes were never really that good anyway so the internet can suck it.

Platonic Dating

So you’ve been on a few dates. Are they dates? (Probably not a good sign if you’re not sure.) Maybe you’ve hooked up but it still feels painfully platonic.

You avoid talking about anything meaningful and your conversation topics are more obscure than an episode of Rick and Morty. It begs the question, ‘What are we?’

They might think you’re ‘possessive’ but you’ve already got enough conversation-based friends so if there’s nothing more, it’s time for both of you to move on. As our Lord and Saviour Vera Blue says, ‘I know you think I’m going crazy, but I deserve nothing short of amazing’.

*Insert Activity* Buddies

This is a simple one. Your health comes first in this case. Are you seeing other people? Are you both tested? Who is responsible for protective measures? ‘WHAT ARE WE?’

Asking this beforehand might seem pedantic, but leaving it until afterwards is not going to bode well. And if they don’t want to answer, then they don’t need to stay around. Catchya later, alligator.

Friends Of Convenience

They’re not hard to come by in the uni ecosystem. They’re the scavengers – ready to scab lifts, lecture notes or drinks.

Some take it a step further, plaguing you with their constant complaints but never sticking around to ask how you’re going.

It can be hard to differentiate between a scavenger and a pack member, so next time you feel a little off ask yourself, ‘What are we?’

Toxic friends won’t stop taking advantage of your patience until you stop it yourself.

Long-Term Lovers

During any relationship there are ebbs and flows of romance, passion and patience. But there’s a difference between lulls of attraction and complete loss of attraction.

If you’re feeling as though your relationship is just a friendship by another name, it’s a good time to ask yourself and your partner, ‘What are we?’

It’s a win-win in both cases: If you’re both feeling like it’s become platonic, there’s no hard feelings and if you’re both still committed, it’s a great motivation to try to shake things up and get the passion back.

Coming Out Of The Friend Zone

Any relegation to the friend-zone isn’t done lightly. When things start to go beyond friendship, you’re not crazy for asking, ‘What are we?’

If things are naturally tending towards flirtation rather than innocent banter, it can be refreshing to ask the question and settle the confusion so things can naturally develop. If it’s not mutual, best to end the angst and maybe take a break.

So, what are we?

(Lead image: Friends/Warner Bros.)