A 100-Year-Old Tortoise Named Diego Has Had So Much Sex He Just Saved His Species

They say that men reach their sexual peak at 18, but things must be different for our leathery shell-clad friends. Meet Diego, a 100-year-old tortoise native to Española, the southern-most island of the Galapagos Archipelago. Thanks to Diego’s voracious sexual appetite, his once-threatened species has nearly been saved from extinction.

Or, to put it another way… it’s been a very weird day on the internet.

My first son's middle name will be Diego in honor of the tortoise that saved his species.

— B. (@BG2MPH) September 14, 2016

All hail Super Diego, the horny Galapagos tortoise who saved his species with the power of his reptilian penis. https://t.co/0K2hVGhGCE

— Jared Borislow (@JaredBorislow) September 14, 2016

Diego is way more bad ass than any ninja turtle

he is… The Most Interesting Tortoise In the World pic.twitter.com/qtyeLcULai

— #NeverFacePaulm (@facepaulmrevere) September 14, 2016

Approximately 50 years ago there were only two males and 12 females on Española, which is one of the oldest in the Galapagos. How things have changed, thanks to Diego, the dominant male, and his three pals assigned to repopulate the Chelonoidis hoodensis species. Diego has so far fathered around 800 offspring.

Diego and his glorious virility are making headlines around the world. And it hasn’t escaped the notice of local park attendants in Galapagos, the archipelago made famous by Charles Darwin’s work developing the Theory of Evolution. Tortoise preservation specialist Washington Tapia gave the world the low-down on Diego’s unique talents. “He’s a very sexually active male reproducer,” Tapia said, stating the obvious. “He’s contributed enormously to repopulating the island.”

Diego was found at the San Diego Zoo, and though experts have no idea how he got there from Espanola, Tapia estimates he was probably taken from the island “sometime between 1900 and 1959 by a scientific expedition”. He was returned to Galapagos from California in 1976, and is now housed in the tortoise breeding sanctuary on Santa Cruz Island.

What. A. Life.